Introducing Alexis Lynn Joller

My niece is finally here. She was born on November 25, 2008, at 5:30 a.m. after a looong labor and two days before Thanksgiving. She was 8 lbs., 3 oz. and 21 inches long. =)

We are so happy to finally see this kid and she was worth the wait. She is such a cutie. Thank goodness she seems to have gotten the best of both of her parents. lol.

Now, hopefully, we are in for some big changes to my sister. I'm praying that she gains patience and understanding--that she becomes selfless and learns to put others before herself. Being a mother is supposed to change you in these ways. I hope this happens for Kim. It could only make her a better person.

God bless you, baby Alexis!

What's scarier than Freddie, Chucky, and Jason this Halloween?

The idea that a pro-baby-killing, gay-marriage-supporting, socialist, Marxist, wealth-spreader, who purports to be a Christian, named Barack Obama may be voted our next president next Tuesday.

What's even scarier than that?

The fact that people are literally calling him the Messiah. Wow, people. I know who the Messiah is and his name is not Barack... it's Jesus Christ. Get it right.

I'm sure there are many believers who are wondering if this guy will turn out to be the Antichrist. Now I don't want to say for sure that Barack Obama is the Antichrist, despite the fact that the Antichrist was described as being a man who will woo all the people--around the world--and will be a charismatic man who comes with a message of hope and peace (sound familiar?) who will solve all the world's problems. However, I will venture to say that if he's not the Antichrist, he is paving the way for the man who will be the Antichrist. How? By the fact that he is showing the People's current capability to blindly follow the first fool who comes along promising one thing that can't happen in this fallen world, at least until Christ returns: Peace.

Get it together, people. How can a man who has no experience in an administrative capacity and who has questionable connections, not be questioned by anyone? The Devil sure has pulled the wool over the eyes of so many! I can't believe it, but then I can. These things have been foretold.

I guess it shouldn't be scary afterall, if you are a believer. These are just the signs that our Lord is coming for us real soon. In that we should lift our voices to heaven and rejoice!

World of Chaos

Man, some stuff has been going down lately.

First, we are in the middle of one heated battle for the presidency. Obama vs. McCain. I for one will NOT be voting for the "messiah," Obama. Never! I am a Christian, Conservative, American woman... in that order. My relationship with God comes FIRST. That relationship dictates my morals and values, which in turn dictate who I will vote for. According to the word of God, homosexuality is a sin, as is the murder of an innocent person (in this case a baby). Those are the deal-breakers for me.

Obama is all the way for same-sex marriage/re-defining marriage and he is for abortion and partial-birth/late-term aborition (he's totally in bed with Planned Parenthood). For those reason, I cannot and I WILL NOT vote for him. On top of those gems, he is also just generally a liar. He has flat out said one thing at certain points and then turned around and flat out denied saying those things at another point (listen to the abundance of soundbites out there proving this). He also has associated himself with horrible people: Ayers, Jeremiah Write, Talbot... just to name a few. The man is not trustworthy in any sense of the word.

McCain/Palin 2008!

The other big thing that is going on--or you could say was going on--are the fires in the San Fernando Valley. One of which was in Lake View Terrace (not the same as the movie... lol), which is where I grew up and where my mother and sister currently still live.

It was a scary situation for a while there, but currently the fire there is 80% contained. Praise the Lord. My family was literally packed up and waiting for the evacuation order. Thankfully, it never came. I do know some people who were evacuationed, but thankfully they too are okay and did not lose their homes.

Fires are still raging in Porter Ranch (where my Valley church, Shepherd of the Hills, is located) and other parts of California, but it seems that damage hasn't been TOO bad. Hopefully, everything will be under control soon.

Pray for those who have lost homes or lives.

Lord, thank you for Your mercy and Your hand on all situations. Please keep Your hand of protection over this country and these elections. Your will be done. Amen.

Hello there...

Yeah, it's been a while since I've blogged. My bad. I've been so busy. Literally every weekend of this summer has been booked solid for me. More things are in the works too. I thought my season of being busy would end by early September, but no.

Let's see... What have I been up to?

In August I had:

• The family reunion
• A Dodgers game
• Mom's Surprise B-day dinner
• Mandy's B-day
• A back injury

In September, I'v thusfar:

• Travelled to Denver with Mom
• Had a couple of Sec IV interviews that I'm still waiting to hear back about
• Saw Alexis (Kim's baby) via a 3-D ultrasound
• Gone to Victor's 2nd Birthday party

That's all just in 1 & 3/4 months. This months not over though. I still have to go to Mike and Alycia's wedding and do something for Kim's birthday.

Next up in October will be Baby K's 1st birthday (YAY!), Katie and Tirsa's Birthday Extravaganza at Disneyland, and Kim's baby shower (which, of course, I am planning). Not to mention Halloween. Don't even know what the plan is for that yet.

I'm telling you my plate is full. On top of all that, I have two different prospects in my love life. I won't get into details because I don't want to mess anything up. We'll see what happens. I'll check in on that once something is more solid. =)

So, yeah. Can you see now why I haven't been able to write? LOL. I'll elaborate more on some of the above stuff later....

Birthday

I have to say that my birthday this year was pretty freakin awesome. Coldplay was awesome (as I mentioned in an earlier post) and my birthday weekend was awesome.

The Friday before my birthday I had dinner with my mom at the Cheesecake Factory. That was nice. Our waiter was cute. =) The next day, my actual birthday, I hung out with Sandy and Baby K almost the entire day and had the best time. Seriously, that was the best thing I could have done. That kid was cracking me up the whole time. She is just the best baby in the world. So good. No tantrums. No fits. Just pure joy. =)

Then that evening, Mandy, Jen, Vicente, Abe, and I headed down to Highlands. It's not the best club in the world, but we made the best of it. Alcohol usually does that. I had a great time and I got pretty drunk. By the time we got to Roscoe's Chicken and Waffles, I was feeling a little queasy, but I ate my chicken and mac 'n cheese and I was good. I didn't get the spins and I woke up sans a hangover, so it was a success. Score!

I am so thankful to everyone who saw fit that I had a great and special birthday. This is the first time in a long time that I've had a really good birthday that went off without a hitch.

=D

Viva la Vida

Saw Coldplay last week in Vegas with Katie, Sandy, and Tirsa.

One word: AMAZING!

Like you didn't know that? If you didn't, well, your sad. Coldplay is the greatest band of my time. My children will say, "Mom, I wish I was young when Coldplay was at their greatest." Wait, whose to say they won't get even better and better by the time my kids are grown. =) That's fine with me. Keep 'em coming, boys...

So yeah, I'm pretty sure that I have not gotten any of the positions I've applied for. Sad day. I'm trying not to be to down about it because I did tell God to only give me these positions if I deserved it and if it was His will. Apparently, neither was the truth. Guess I have to accept it and try to make the best of what I do have. I just wanted that extra money. =( I did find a Staff Assistant position that I think I qualify for, so I sent in the application today. (This is what I do when I'm working "overtime" on a Friday. lol...)

Sandy and Juan just signed up for a debt management program. I want to see how it goes for them, and then I think I will do the same. I really gotta do something about all this debt. REALLY. I may even get it started within the next week because this stuff is no joke. It's killing me....

Well, at least my car hasn't been giving me any problems (knock on wood, skip on one foot, throw some salt over the shoulder, and thank God... lol). I'm glad because my mom is taking it within a matter of weeks (yay!). I didn't want to give it to her with problems. Plus, you know, who wants anymore car repair bills. Not me, that's for sure!

Forgot to mention the other thing I did last weekend: The Dark Knight. We saw the midnight show on Thursday. It was also pretty darn good, but I have to admit, seeing Heath Ledger in such an evil role and go to such an evil place, made me upset. I literally cried. I didn't like seeing him like that. I hope his baby girl is able to appreciate the talent that her dad exuded in that role and not the discomfort of seeing him so sinister. He really did an excellant job, it's just sad to remember him that way in his last complete role. =(

Tomorrow is my 27th birthday. Yikes! That's three years from 30 and what is the score so far? Still never had a real boyfriend. Still a virgin. Still in major debt. Still living with a parent. Hmmmm.... Some might say I'm a loser. Funny thing is, and maybe this just means I'm getting better mentally, but I don't feel like that bad of a loser. I do wish I at least had a boyfriend by now. What's the hold up...

I'll let you know how the birthday went. So far, it's been cool. If the only thing I did was Coldplay, I would say it was successful. Mandy has something planned for me, so we'll see how pans out...

Argh...

I am so not in a good mood today (yeah, Aunt Flo needs to come into town already). I'm sitting here at my desk and literally every time someone walks past my desk or approaches me I get increasingly more irritated. Whatever. Better right now than this Saturday when I go to Vegas to see Coldplay. =)

Still though... I'm ready to karate chop the next person that pisses me off. It's one of THOSE days, man...

Last night I found out that my good friend Liz has been undergoing radiation treatments for the last few months. (Good thing nobody we know really reads this thing because I'm really not supposed to be telling anyone this.)

Wow. Cancer is no joke, son. Thankfully, they say she is looking good. We'll know for sure when she gets the results. I have faith that everything will be okay.

She apologized for not sharing with me earlier, but I understood. Everyone is not like me: putting their business out there for the world to know. Sometimes I wish I kept personal info to myself more often because I'm learning that people use that stuff against you whenever they can.

People suck.

Like my boss. I got a hair cut and for the first time in at least 15 years, I got bangs. So, I come into work with my hair pulled back, which I haven't done in I don't know how long, and people are complimenting me left and right. What is the first thing out of my boss' mouth? "Can you look any younger with that hairstyle?"

B****, can you be anymore of a hater?

This heifer knows that I am insecure about the fact that I am so young looking and, as a result, people don't seem to take me seriously at work. She knew exactly what she was saying. Too bad for her, I have more game than that and just laughed it off, saying that I know I look 18, so I've decided to embrace it. Like Liz said, she's just jealous. She is horrible at hiding it. Hahaha...

Man, I interviewed for that position with the City of W. Covina and two Sec IV positions and I haven't heard a thing back from any of them. I'm pretty sure that I didn't get W. Covina. I think they would have let me know by now. That's a shame. I really think I would have liked working there, but I think, once again, they thought I was too young and probably not ready. Whatever.

The other one that I really wanted was Pomona and I haven't heard about that one either. I sent the lady a follow-up email yesterday and haven't gotten a reply yet. Poo! Please, Lord. I know I don't deserve it, but please give me a chance. I need the money....

Chee-ca-go, Part 3

Okay, my bad. Almost forgot to finish my story.... Last I left off, we had just finished our Gino's pizza and Robert and Marina were heading back to the base.



So we get to the Sears tower, but our tickets, and get in line. We jam into an elevator so that we can go I-don't-know-how-many stories up. We get up there and the view is like WOW. Even despite the fact that it was foggy and you couldn't really see too far out, you could still get an idea of just how high up you were. It was amazing. You could see the entire city. I got plenty of pics. =)



After our view, we headed down and hit up the little gift shop, walking away with even more crap to bring back. From there we took a cab back to the train station and made our way back to the motel from hell. So we get there and as soon as we turn on the TV we start hearing these warnings about a Tornado that is set to touch down in North Chicago, in Lake County. Wait a minute! That's exactly where we are! What the....

We don't quite freak out right away and decide to take our leftover pizza to the lobby to warm it up in the microwave. That's when people start telling us what we already know: A tornado is coming. Except now it seems real because not only are these people confirming it to us, but now we can also faintly hear the distance the sound of air raid sirens. Oh yay! We are starting to get scared at this point. It's not like we have a basement to run into. On top of that we are in the worst motel in America.

We hang out for a while waiting for this thing to come, text messaging our friends and sisters to let them know what's going on, but it never ends up coming. Thank GOD in heaven--the thing has passed us. Well, now we have our funny story about how we almost got caught up in a tornado.

So, we start getting ready for bed. Katie decides that she can't take not having air conditioning anymore and starts fiddling around with the thermostat. She figures out that the batteries are not in correctly, puts them back in, and the A/C starts up. Next thing you know,we hear these loud noises from what we think is the roof. I'm thinking it might just be someone up there adjusting the satelite for the tv or something and we ignore it. I take out my contacts and get into bed.

Just as I'm hitting R.E.M. sleep, I hear something explode. My first thought is that the person walking on the roof is now coming through the roof and is going to land on me, so I jump out of the bed as quickly as I can, screaming, "what's happening?!" (Mind you, I can't see because I don't have my contacts in.)

That's when Katie says, "the air conditioner exploded."

It sure did. There was water gushing out all over the place. It was crazy. Katie calls the front desk and they tell us they are coming to take a look. They never show up. I give up. I'm tired, I had been walking all over the city of Chicago, and I just want to sleep. Katie waits another hour or so, and still nothing, so she goes to bed. These idiots never showed up to fix the thing or to at least move us to a better room. Frickin low class, disgusting place!

So we get up the next day. It's time to go. We pack up all of our stuff and just as I'm walking out the door I notice something under Katie's bed.... Rat poison. Nice! Like the cherry on top! Ay ay ay!

We take Marina to O'hare and say our goodbyes and start heading for Midway, when I see a sign: "Wrigley Field - Next Exit" I'm like, "we are so going."

We had plenty of time. So we go check out Wrigley field, take some pics, eat one of the best brunches I've ever had at Chicago Joe's, and then head off to the airport to sit there for a long time (another delayed flight). We eventually made it home, and despite all the crazy stuff that went down, it was an awesome weekend. I really did have so much fun and I can't wait to go back to Chicago some day. It has to be one of my new favorite cities. So clean and so friendly.

Yup, I'll definitely be coming back. Three days was not long enough...

Chee-ca-go, Part 2

So, I left off with us hitting the hay in our crime scene of a motel after a failed attempt at a night out for some fun. (Sheesh!)

DAY 2

We got up early because we need to catch a train into downtown Chicago. Mom and Marina got up before us to go get her son, Robert, from the naval base. So, we are introduced and then we take off. We get to the station and Katie's already cracking this guy up with her jokes. Then I accidentally called his uniform an "outfit" and then Katie called it a "costume," which we found funny. Anyway, so we get on the train and it takes an hour to get into town.

We get off the train in downtown and as soon as you step outside you can see why it's called the "windy city." That wind was no joke. In a matter of minutes my hair was all over the place. Oh well.... at least it's always straight. We proceeded to walk all over the place. We found Millenium Park and then Lake Michigan (which was so blue and nice). From there we found Buckingham Fountain which is breathtakingly huge. When the wind kicked up, the water would spray over on you and it was just like rain. Again, glad I have straight hair. It felt so good though because man was it hot and HUMID.

From there we finally caught a bus on our way to try to find Gino's Pizza. It was so nice to be in the air conditioner, but that bus was packed. Eventually people started getting off and we were one-by-one able to sit down. All but Robert. Even when the bus was almost completely empty, he refused to sit down. Such a gentleman! I'm telling you, now that I mention it, he was a gentlemen the entire time we were with him. I had to tell his momma later on that she raised a good guy.... Too bad he's only 21. lol!

Finally, after a looooong search and an even looooonger walk we found Gino's. We were so happy just to sit down. We all ordered our deep dish pizzas and when they finally came out it was worth all the searching and the wait. This pizza was delicious! It was too much, but it was good. =) We finished eating just in time for Robert to have to get back, so he and his mom said their goodbyes there and caught a cab back to the train station to get back to the base and we took off to the Sears Tower.


Okay. I'm stopping once again. Look for Part 3 soon....

Chee-ca-go, Part 1

Chicago was so awesome! It was a crazy trip full of ups and downs, yet I can't help but say that I had a great time!

Our flight into Midway was delayed and then, after picking up our rental car, we headed over to O'hare to pick up my mom's friend, Marina. We ended up waiting there around 2 hours until about 3:30 a.m. (Chicago time) for her luggage to arrive (which was on another flight). By the time we got to the disgusing rat trap that was our motel, we didn't hit our nasty, stained beds until 4:30 a.m., just as the sun was rising. The naval graduation was supposed to start at 6:00 a.m. Needless to say, Katie and I didn't make it to the graduation. =)

Um, so if you haven't picked up on it yet, our motel was gross. I've never stayed in a more putrid place. As I mentioned, the sheets were stained. Well, not only that but the "comforters" had bullet-sized holes in them, the towels were dingy, there was rat poison under Katie's bed, AND our air conditioner not only didn't work, but then at the end of our trip, exploded--gushing water everywhere. Horrible!

Okay back to the story....

DAY 1

We woke up at around 11 A.M. and decided to go into the city by ourselves while mom and Marina caught up on their sleep. The traffic was horrible and Katie noticed that only about 15 miles north of our motel was Wisconsin, so halfway to Chicago we turned around and headed to the home of That 70's Show. =) We literally began to get giddy. "Sandy is going to be so jealous," we said to each other. (She love That 70's Show and wants to go to Wisconsin desperately.)

We got over the border and lookey here... we see some Outlets. Score! We stop and take pics of the Welcome to Wisconsin sign to text message to Sandy. Muahaha! Then we decide we are going to go find ourselves some real Wisconsin cheese before we head back to the Outlets to check 'em out. We find a place (whose name escapes me all of a sudden), which is chock full of cheeses and crazy meats (I got buffalo meat sticks for my dad to try) and a bunch of souvenirs. It was awesome. Cheese curds.... mmmmmm....

We headed back towards the outlets. Yes! They have a Coach outlet. I'm so there. I ended up walking away with an awesome bag and wallet for a freakin steal! It was so cool. I totally love Wisconsin!

From there we headed back to the motel. We got there just as my mom and Marina were getting ready to head into Wisconsin to see a friend of Marina's. How funny. We were going to go to this Irish bar that we saw on our way in to have some fun. We get all dolled up, pay our cover charge, and head in. What a waste! We got the worse service and were treated like we weren't even there. Why? Because everyone in there was military and we weren't and they knew it. Yeah, we didn't stay there long. We headed back to Hotel of Horror and straight for bed...


Okay, that's enough for now. I'll continue with the story next time....

The Decade of Going Out of Town

Okay, so I'm going to Chicago this weekend (Thur. - Sun.). Should be fun. It's going to be mom, Katie, and me. I'm excited. For the first time in a while, one of my sisters will be coming along, so I should be able to at least go to a bar and not feel weird because I'm with my parents. =) I can't wait to have some famous Chicago deep dish pizza too and maybe go up the Sears Tower, which is still the tallest building in the country.

I started thinking back and I realized that this last decade, or at least since 2000, I have traveled A LOT! I'm very proud of that. Let's see, I've been to:

• Florida
• Hawaii
• Arizona (a few times)
• Mexico City (twice)
• New York
• Pennsylvania
• Canada
• England
• Ireland

And now Chicago this week and Denver in September.

Awesome. That's a whole lot of traveling (not including my many Vegas trips and some trips up to Oregon for family reunions). Hopefully before this decade is over, I can say that I've been to Italy, France, Spain, Greece, and/or Hawaii (again). At least 2 of those would be awesome.... even better if they were on a Honeymoon. (hint hint, God.... lol)

I love travelling!

Pain in my...

MOUTH!

Okay, so a week ago I had all 5 of my wisdom teeth out and I'm STILL in pain. This is out of control! I guess it's to be expected, but I'm really just getting tired of it. I had to go home from work yesterday because it was too much and I couldn't take my meds without getting loopy and really tired. So, I went home in pain so that I could take my meds when I got safely home. Then on top of that, the only thing that helps with the pain in between the times when I can take drugs is ice. At work, I don't have a never-ending supply of ice, so I have to sit here in pain.

I decided to take only half of my ibuprofen every 4 hours so that I can last and I've told my co-workers that I really need to keep the talking to a bare minimum. It seems to be working. I hope so, because I really don't have the time on the books to take extra days off.... or even half-days. This really sucks. I'm just glad I did them all in one pop, because going through this again is not something I really would have wanted to do.

Next up: Braces. I hear that they can be painful when you first get them on, but hopefully not nearly as bad as this is. At least they don't have to go in and saw up your jaw to put braces on. =)

In the end it will be worth it though. I'll finally have some straight teeth. Hey! I'll finally be able to wear some lipstick and not worry about attracting too much attention towards my mouth.... Sounds good to me. =)

What happens in Vegas...

Could be juicier and more fun if you are there long enough. lol. Seriously, a 3-day weekend is not enough to fully enjoy Vegas. First of all, you only get half a day on Friday and a full day Saturday, and then you have until 11 to check out.... So, if you add it all up, it's all just under 2 full days of being there. That is not nearly enough time in which to do everything you want to do.

Nevertheless, in the little amount of time, we had a good time. Well, except for my sister and brother-in-laws perpetual bitching. I won't get into that though, because frankly I don't want to get myself upset and irritated. All I have to say is that I'm never rooming with them again.

Anyway, from the minute I got there I was having a good time. As I stood in line to check-in, some little cuties were actually chatting me up. I was shocked, but I tried to be as friendly as possible. I'm sure they would have asked for the number and maybe to hang out, but honest me, I told them I was there with family. Oh well, just the fact that they even spoke to me made me feel like I'm becoming more and more of an approachable person. Yay!

That evening was Phantom and it was, of course, awesome. I sat behind a tall guy and couldn't see much, but it was okay, since I know the thing by heart anyway. As long as Mandy had a good view I was fine. She was the one who had never seen it before. The new special effects were really cool. I definitely approved and, as a Phantom expert, I could totally tell what parts had been enhanced/changed. I overall really enjoyed it and of course was crying like a baby.

Afterwards, we met the whole family at Margaritaville. I was happy because all the aunt's were complimenting me on how "great" I looked. Yes, the working out is paying off! I'm glad someone noticed because my sisters and mom didn't even mention it.... Anyway, that was fun. I got a balloon margarita glass hat made for me, which I totally rocked the entire time. Everyone had them. We all looked funny with our hats.

After that, we all went to Karaoke. I thought it was going to be retarded and cheesy, but it ended up being so much fun. Everyone (but me) was drunk and getting up there doing songs as everyone else sang along. There were so many of us and we were so boisterous. I'm pretty sure some of the other people there probably found us to be annoying, but oh well... It's Vegas. This is what happens. I know Liz had a ball! She was loving the family and she totally fit in.

Saturday, Liz, dad, and me went to Hoover Dam. My dad and I had never been and I knew he would love to see it, so we went. Of course, he was loving it. I thought it was pretty cool, but I'm sure I didn't look all that enthused. I was very tired because my sister and her husband refused to let me sleep in the morning.... whatever.

After that, we dropped Dad off and met Katie and Tirsa over at Dick's Last Resort... Love that place. Had a few laughs with Taco while Liz got totally drunk. Then we left to go back to the room to take a nap before we had to head over to Ceasar's palace to put our names in at Cheesecake Factory for the whole family. Liz ended up getting really sick (from drinking too much) and we left her behind while we met up with the family for dinner at Cheesecake Factory. She needed to rest after all that barfing. lol We didn't do anything else after that, but head back and go to bed because I was just too tired. (So sad... we didn't even go out Saturday night..... another reason why I need more than 2 days in Vegas!)

Next morning, we got up, ate some breakfast, gambled a little, and then checked out. No breakfast with mom for Mother's day, but that was her choice. I was so not ready to go, but we had to. We were tired and Liz wasn't feeling too well. Like I said, overall, it was a good trip, but it definitely wasn't enough time.... Next time I'm going for AT LEAST 4 days. AT LEAST...

LOL

Here's some jokes for ya....


Lie Detector

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmick. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.

One day, John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was just about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late.

"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?", they asked.

"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project" said Tommy.

The Robot then walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son, this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you went after school."

"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie."

"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.

'The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.

The Robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.

With lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied.

We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I'm ashamed of you Son," said John. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."

The robot then walked around to John and delivered a roundhouse right that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha was bent double laughing, almost in tears. "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! And you can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, He is your son!"

The Robot immediately walked around to Marsha, and slapped her three times

********************


A very loud, unattractive, mean-acting woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.

The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly, "Good morning, and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there, are they twins?'

The woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "No, they ain't! The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am, " replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone would sleep with you twice."

"Have a good day and thank you for shopping at Wal-Mart "

Been a while...

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

Wow, I've been busy, but then I haven't. I haven't blogged since I first found out Kim was pregnant. She is now almost 10 weeks along... that's 21/2 months. Almost done with that first trimester. Alright!

A few things have happened since my last post:

Found out that according to the ultrasound, I don't have ovarian cysts. I don't know... I do know that something wasn't right. He said the next step would be an exam. I'm not ready for that just yet. Like I told my mom, if I have an exam and they still don't find anything, I'm going to be PISSED that I put myself through that for nothing. So, for now, and as long as I'm not bent over in pain, I'm not going to worry too much. We'll see what happens.

I also found out that I will be on the Sec IV list pretty soon. Plus, one of the "big people" knows that I'll be on the list soon and has recommended me for a vacant Sec IV position in the same building, in another section... they just need to wait until I'm on the list. Hopefully that will happen within the next couple of months.

We had a BBQ for Dad's birthday. A lot of people came and it was fun. He got a lot of presents and we got a lot of alcohol. =)

Speaking of alcohol, we are going to Vegas this weekend, and Liz and Mandy will be joining us. We are gonna see the Phantom of the Opera while we are there. I am really excited. Everyone knows I LOVE the Phantom. I'm excited for Vegas too because I need a little break and all the family, including my favorite cousin, Justin, will be there. Should be a blast. lol

I have been working out nonstop since my last doctor's visit where I found out how much I was weighing. I have been working out on the elliptical machine every other day and doing pilates in between that every other day... So, I'm basically switching off every day. I am doing lunges and using the weights almost every day too. I've even thrown in some jumping jacks here and there... lol. I can see a big difference. I haven't necessarily changed my diet for the better, but I can still see that I am in much better shape. All my clothes are fitting way better. I'm definitely going to feel good about the way I look going into Vegas. =) Thank you motivation!

I hung out with Sandy and the baby this last weekend. Just the three of us. Juan and his parents were out of town, so I went down to take Sandy to buy herself a birthday present and to keep her company. I ended up spending the night with her on Friday night. It was sooo fun. I got to see Kaylin take a bath and we totally took a naked photo shoot of her. Some of the cutest pictures of her that I've taken/seen. She was just having the best time with her Tia too. It was a great time. I haven't see her in 2 days and I miss her so much! =) I love my baby!

Well, I'm sure there's more, but that's all I can think of right now....I'll check in again soon....

A light at the end of the tunnel?

This has been a SUCKY last couple of days, but then I finally just heard some good news. First, though, I'm going to go through the suckiness:

This cyst crap has been killing me for the last couple of days. I can't wait to have this ultrasound and start getting this little mother flower treated!

I HATE work... HATE it! I can't stand these people. They are under-handed, evil, hateful, spiteful, petty, deceitful, aweful people! I am miserable, but I'm stuck here. I keep praying that God either gets me out of here or calms me down and makes things better here.

Speaking of work. Called the city of W. Covina and found out that they put hiring on hold for the senior administrative assistant position. Hopefully, by the new fiscal year (beginning in July) they will start up again, but I won't hold out hope since the County is having the same kind of retarded budget issues. Grrr!

Tried to get a consolidation loan through my credit union because the rate I have now on my current loan is killing me and is really just outlandish for someone with such good credit. Well, apparently, good credit means nothing if your debt ratio is bad. So, even though my Fico score is over 700 (also known as "Very Good"), they won't approve the loan because I have too much debt. So, basically, even though I have been very responsible and diligent about making all my payments and making them on-time and above the minimum, I'm still considered a risk. HILARIOUS! The crappiest part of the whole thing is that I wouldn't be in such a high amount of debt if it wasn't for the fact that I've had to make NUMEROUS repairs (in the thousands of dollars) on my lemon of a car (all together, literally, over $10,000 in repairs). So I'm screwed until my mom takes the car off of my hands in August. Once that happens, I'm going to go back and try again.... Until then, it's an OUTRAGEOUS interest rate for me.

Then, I find out a few hours ago that I won't be paying $1100 for my braces like I thought, but instead will be paying $1550. Yay. Insult to injury. Thanks!

Okay, now the good news...

I just got off the phone with my sister, Kim. She was feeling very queasy last night. Non of it could be attributed to a stomach flu or any kind of sickness, so I say, "have you taken a pregnancy test?" She says no and then tells me she plans on doing it. I ask her some other fun questions like, "are you breasts tender?" (too much info... I know). She says yeah. Hello!

So, she took the pregnancy test and it came back POSITIVE! Looks like I will be having a new neice or nephew in less then a year! Of course, we aren't getting ecstatically excited yet.... she's going to the doctor tomorrow to find out for sure. As soon as he/she confirms it, it's excitement central, son! If she is prego, I'm going to be so happy for her because they have been trying for a year now and I know how it feels to want it so bad.

At least I got some bit of good news out of all this crap!

Changes...

Some changes are about to happen in my life, but before I get into that I'm going to update this whole cyst thing. I have not had the ultrasound yet, but it's scheduled for this Friday, so I will know for sure hopefully by next week, if not on Friday itself. I do know that I am in a little pain, which was partly brought on by Gatito stepping right on the area that is giving me problems yesterday. He came over to get some pets as I was lying on the couch and managed to step right where the pain had been coming from. Of course, I'm sure he aggravated it because almost immediately I started feeling it. Not fun.

Anyway, change numero uno is that I've started a campaign to lose some weight. I won't say how much I weigh, but I will say that I want to drop AT LEAST 20 pounds. AT LEAST. After seeing how much I weigh at my last doctor visit, I've had a wake-up call. I will be starting ASAP. I even went so far as to purchase a used elliptical machine this weekend from some guy I found on Craig's List. (I got a good deal too... =] ) I have vowed to start eating more healthy and to use my machine at least 5 out of 7 days in the week for at least 30 minutes. I promise you, people, you will see a new person. I am going to be at least a size 7 if not smaller.... watch!

Change number two will be braces, with my first appointment being this Wednesday. Finally! This has been 10 years in the making. My senior year of High School was the year I was supposed to get braces. I asked my mom if we could put it off until after I took my senior pictures... actually I insisted. As soon as those pictures were taken I was ready to go, but it just never happened. Of course, my mom says it's my fault and that I insisted upon waiting, but I have to say that I only insisted upon waiting until AFTER my pictures. After that, it was up to her and she procrastinated. So for maybe the first 5 years of these last 10 years, I blame her. After that, it is more or less my bad, because I am an adult with a job that includes dental/orthodontal benefits. =)

So yeah, a year from now I'm going to be one skinny brace face. Hahaha! It's all good... It's all about improving yourself and making yourself the best you that you can be! It's worth the effort...

Just as I thought...

Went to my doctor appointment and it turned out okay... I guess. Looks like there is a strong chance that I have an ovarian cyst. That's not great news, but it's better than "you may have cancer" or something scary like that. I have to setup another appointment for an ultrasound. Once that's done, the doctor will hopefully be able to tell what's up down there. If it is a cyst, he will prescribe birth control pills. Okie dokie. I can work with that. Like I said in my previous post, as long as there is nothing invasive involved.

Changing the subject... I was surprisingly very happy with the doctor today. He is also Liz' doctor and she recommended that I make him my primary doctor when I finally moved my primary from Panorama City to Montebello. He was very thorough and he didn't treat me like I was a hypochondriac or like he just wanted me out of there. He totally respected what I was and wasn't willing to do. I was very happy with him, which is crazy considering he works for Kaiser. In fact, that's probably the first time I have ever said anything positive about anything Kaiser-related.

The bad thing, though, was that I found out how much I weigh and it's definitely TOO MUCH. Let's just say I am extremely close to 200 lbs. I know I don't look anywhere near what I weigh, but I still know that I need to get my butt in gear. I need to lose at the very least 20 lbs.... at the VERY LEAST. I think I might start waking up early and going jogging. I'm definitely going to cut out A LOT of carbs. The way things are right now is NOT COOL. (I know... a lot of caps there. lol) It's time to overhaul this body!

Irritants...

I went to church yesterday on a mission to join some sort of group and get plugged-in as they say. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a chicken and that it's hard for me to put myself out there like that. I took a lot of courage, but at the end of the service, I walked up to the Information booth and asked about joining a small woman's group. Of course, after all that psyching up, I find out that the women's groups are ending and won't be starting up until September. SEPTEMBER?!

I said, "I know this is going to sound funny, but I don't know if I can wait until September. Is there anything else?" She asks me if I'm a new believer. Nope. Then she tells me that there is a class for people re-dedicating their lives to Christ... a Sure Foundation. That's great and all, but I don't want to be a part of a class. I want to be a part of a small group Bible study where we are engaging each other and where I will be more comfortable meeting and getting to know people. I know myself--if I go to a class, I will end up sitting there until it's over and then getting up and going home. I'm not the type to stay after and ask questions and stuff. Therefore, a class is not the ideal setting for me to make connections with other people... unless by some fluke someone approaches me, which almost never happens.

Needless to say, I left a little disappointed. I did grab the information on the class and I will try my best to go... That will be another thing that I will have to psych myself up for...

In other retarded news, I have a doctor's appointment this Wednesday...

[WARNING: If you are the type that doesn't like to read about women's girlie issues, than don't bother reading on.]

A couple of weeks ago, after it had already been a week since my period ended, I was having really bad cramping in my abdomen and then discovered I was spotting. Now this wasn't normal spotting... this was straight up blood. Like I-cut-myself-and-now-I'm-bleeding blood. So, I made an appointment to see the doctor, and then for about a week afterward I continued to have the cramping, but no more spotting.

Now I'm worried. For one because who know what's going on down there... it could be anything from ovarian cysts to straight up cancer. Eek! The other major reason I'm worried is because I don't want to end up being told that they have to do a pelvic exam. Being a virgin, I made the personal choice not to see an Ob-gyn until after I'm married and have done "the deed." People tell me I'm stupid because you never know, but it's my body and I don't want anyone messing around down there until my husband has... plus, literally, no one has messed around there at all yet, so I don't believe that I am at risk for STDs at the very least.

So, when I go I am going to insist that they do everything but a pelvic exam. I know there are other ways of checking me out, but I also know Kaiser. A pelvic exam costs nothing when you compare it to an ultrasound or something like that. Nevertheless, I am going to insist on the most non-invasive procedure possible. I'm bringing my mother with me, and although she doesn't necessarily agree with me not seeing an Ob-gyn until I lose my virginity, I know she'll back me up.

I just hope this is as uncomfortable as possible. Pray for me people. This could be nothing, but then it could be something too...

Other stuff...

Gonna give a little rundown of what's been going on...

Not going to Arizona. The job market is too bad right now and I don't want to risk it. So, for now, it's a no-go. =( We'll see later on in the future. I still have my connections out there and I'm not ruling it out.

Despite the dude at Audi telling me that it would be free-of-charge due to a recall, the catalytic converter on my car is going to cost me about $1600 ($1000 for labor; $550 for the part... RIP OFF!). Needless to say, I'm PISSED. They are such liars and swindlers! I've said it before and I'll say it again: DON'T EVER PURCHASE AN AUDI!!!! (Google "Audi Consumer Complaints" and see what you find.... mountains of complaints against Audi and it's employees. MOUNTAINS.)

Took the test for Senior Admin. Assistant for the City of W. Covina. Got in Band 1, which means I got one of the highest scores (did you doubt me?). The funny thing is that they said they would get a hold of us right away for interviews because they want to fill the position ASAP, yet I haven't heard from them. Starting to get worried.

Have an interview this Saturday with the Department of Mental Health (no, it's not to be committed... lol) for Secretary III. They have an opening in facilities in Pomona, Covina, etc.--all near home, so I'm going for it. What do I got to lose? Plus, I would be saving so much time and gas. It would be a major blessing. I want to get it before this County budget crisis takes it away.

While I sat in church on Easter, aside from figuring out how to get rid of homeboy (see my previous 2 blogs), I also decided that I MUST get more involved. I'm going to go next Sunday and force myself to find out what groups I can join or how I can help out. Wish me luck. I know it seems like a simple thing, but it's so hard for me to put myself out there like that. It will literally probably take prayer.... mine and yours. =)

Having another BBQ for Dad's birthday. Sent out invites yesterday. I'm hoping that at least all the co-workers I invited will come, since they all live close by. I know my dad is excited. He loves to cook and entertain. Last year's BBQ was pretty successful. Hopefully this year's will be even more so. We'll see...

Okay... that's all I can think of or care to divulge for now. Tah-tah...

She's just not all that into you... The Update

So, I bit the bullet and emailed homeboy a couple days ago to tell him it wasn't happening:

Hey. I'm glad to hear that you enjoyed the church and thanks for coming with me. Hopefully it will motivate you to come back or find a church near you that is similar.

Well, I'm just going to cut to the chase. I have been thinking really hard since I left church yesterday and I decided there is no need to keep you hanging or waste your time. I want to be completely honest with you. You are a really nice guy and I am glad that I met you, however, I didn't feel any connection to you, even though I really wanted to because we want similar things. I know we really didn't get to talk and get to know each other very well, but I think you just know when someone is for you and when not and I didn't feel it. (I usually rely on the Lord to let me know and I just wasn't hearing anything from Him either.) I hope you understand. I really have to think about my future and I don't want to waste your or my time.

So, I'm going to have to turn down the offer to grab a bite to eat with you. I am
really sorry and I sincerely wish you all the luck in the world in love and I wish you God's blessings. I'm sorry if I wasted your time, I really am. I also apologize for telling you this through an email, but I'm sure you know how hard it is to tell people this kind of stuff, so I hope you don't hold that against me. AND I meant what I said about Church and I hope this does not turn you away from finding a good church that is right for you. If you want to keep in touch, I am fine with that because you can never have too many brothers and sisters in Christ and a good support system. If not, I understand that too... I completely understand.

Okay. Well, take care of yourself and God bless you.

-Kristina

Wow. It was much easier than I thought it would be. That's not to say that I don't feel horrible, but it was nice to get it out of the way immediately instead of letting it linger before I was finally forced to do it, which then would have been much more painful for both of us.

Of course, I never heard back from him, which is totally understandable. I'm sure it didn't make him happy to read the above.... especially since I'm pretty positive that he was liking me. Poor guy. It just sucks when you like someone, but they don't feel the same way. I know how that feels and I feel for him. I know that sounds funny since I was the rejector, but I am human.

So, I guess it's back to the drawing board. I won't be trying anymore sites though (sorry, mom). I'm going to do it the old-fashioned way from now on. At least you meet people at face value and you don't have to wonder if they really look like they do in their photos or really act the way they portray themselves when you meet them in real life.... If I'm being real and showing you the good, the bad, and the ugly, the least you can do is look like your pictures! lol

She's just not all that into you...

Ugh!

Okay, this is embarrassing, but I signed up a few weeks ago with a Christian dating site (not eHarmony). Sure enough, I got a few hits and one of them caught my attention. So we've been emailing back and forth and he seemed like a cool guy. He wanted to meet up and suggested that he visit my church. So, we made plans to go to church together on Easter (yesterday).

I was excited to get to know this guy because he seems like he wants all the same things I do. From his pictures he looked like a cutie. He said he was 5'9 and "large, but muscular." He was in the Army. I can work with all that. Cool. So, I go ahead and make the plans to meet up and give him my number. He calls me and we talk a little bit.

From the moment I heard his voice, however, something told me that this guy was not on the caliber of guys I usually like. To be quite frank, he sounded like a straight homeboy from East L.A. or something (anyone who knows me, knows I am not into the thuggish guys... at least I haven't been since I was like 14), and he is real adament that we go to a Dodger game next week (we don't even know if we like each other yet, son). Well, I'm a little apprehensive, but I still try to remind myself of the good things about him and keep going back to look at them pictures (lol).

Finally, Easter comes and I am just having this sinking feeling that I'm going to be disappointed. Sure enough, I meet the guy and he is nothing like his pictures. He is about my height (which is NOT 5'9... more like 5'7) and he's really "fluffy"--to put it nicely. Uh-uh. Now I really hate to sound superficial, I really do because I am not perfect myself by any means, but this is nothing like the guy I was expecting. I realized right then and there that what I saw was the Army him, 7 years ago, when he was fit and looking good. On top of that he was wearing a giant T-shirt and a giant pair of jeans... So not cleancut like I like my boys. He was just so not my style at all.

In a way I felt kind of mad like he lied to me. He never said that he didn't look like the guy in the pictures, but still. By posting up those pics of himself when he looked much different then he does now is really deceiving. This is a Christian website.... aren't we supposed to be as honest as possible? (Seriously, I posted pictures of me that were not so hot because I wanted to keep it real.) Again, I know this is coming off very superficial, but I'm not going to front like it isn't important that I am attracted to the guy I want to date and possibly marry someday. This guy is in no way attractive to me and I could not see myself with him. I'm just being real here.

(See, this is why I didn't want to have to turn to one of these sites in the first place! You never really know what you are going to get.... not to mention the loser factor when you have to resort to these sites to find love.)

Now, he's emailing me asking me if I want to go to dinner sometime. I don't know what to say. Obviously the answer is no, but how do I tell him that without coming off as a horrible person. At the same time, I do NOT want to lie or lead this guy on or waste his and my time. I know it's going to suck, but I think I'm just going to have to flat out tell him. I'm such a chicken though, so it may have to be via email. Does that make me an awful person? I know I should probably tell him to his face or at least call, but I just don't have the courage for that. At least I'm being honest now and not waiting until later....

Phooey! Never doing that again!

Poor baby...

Last night I had a strange dream. (What's new?)

I dreamt that Michelle Williams (ex-girlfriend of the late Heath Ledger) had hired me to be her daughter's nanny. Yes, her daughter, Matilda, with Heath Ledger.

Don't ask me why I dreamt this.

In the dream, I'm watching the little girl, Matilda (who just so happens to look just like the real Matilda... it was scary), when all of a sudden she runs down a hallway and I hear her crying, "my daddy... my daddy." I'm confused, so I run down to see what she's looking at and they are showing Heath Ledger on TV. She starts crying because she can't understand why her daddy's on TV, but not with her. I grab her away and try to comfort her and then either think or say (don't know which) that she should not be allowed to watch TV for awhile because it's too confusing.

Again, I have no idea why I dreamt this, but when I woke up from the dream I wanted to cry. It was so horrible. That poor baby. It's such a tragedy that she will never know her daddy. I really have no idea why this affects me so much. It's weird. I have no connection with these people whatsoever, yet I feel for them like I do have a connection to them. I don't know. Maybe I empathize with people just a little too much sometimes...

Is it really do-able?

This whole Arizona thing I mean.

I don't know if I'm just psyching myself out or what, but I'm looking at my finances and I'm thinking that I don't know how feasible it really would be for me to go over there and have to pay rent... even if it's only like $500. I really do have a large amount of debt (thank you Audi!), and I don't know how I can manage to pay it down, pay rent to someone, and still be able to have a little extra money for myself each month (like I'm used to having now) without a job that pays a lot more than what I make now. I can't totally blame my car problems though. I didn't have to buy all those clothes.

Ay ay ay! What have I gotten myself into?

Now I have my heart set on leaving, but I know that if I stay here and continue to not have to pay rent, I would be able to pay my debt down much easier and a lot faster. Plus, I could take the $2500 I have saved up for Arizona already and pay down a chunk with that. Eek! I don't know what to do! I am just not that good of a risk-taker. I know I would be able to survive if I went to Arizona, but it wouldn't be too comfortably... To me that's risky alone. I'm used to a certain lifestyle and freedom with money.

Maybe that's my problem. I need to learn to suck it up. That is the whole point of paying off debt: To learn to live responsibly with your money. I do want to get to a point where I don't owe anyone anything and I am buying practicially everything with my own money! Hmmm.... Maybe doing this will force me to have to make those changes so that I am more fiscally responsible to myself and to God (since at the end of the day, it's His money, not mine).

Okay... I think I just psyched myself back into going to Arizona... A little at least. =)

Adios to the Snake...

Yesterday, I found out that one of the ladies at work who was trying to get me in trouble a while back and who always gives me a hard time, is leaving our section. Woohoo! Getting rid of her will be like cutting the head off of the snake. She is pretty much the ringleader of the group of people who always give not only me, but my boss, a hard time. They are so full of themselves, despite the fact that they are not all that intelligent, have little to know common sense, and are totally unproductive. They make twice the amount of money that I do, yet I have twice the knowledge and common sense that they will ever have at half the age! (lol)

So, yeah. Her leaving gives me a teensy weensy little kernal... speck... of incentive to actually stay in California. Not much though. Things have the potential to keep staying retarded in the section even with her not there. So, we'll see...

Getting out of Dodge...

It's been a while. Oops. I guess--even though I'm not blogging there and it's quite on the down-low--ever since I returned to MySpace, I haven't felt the urge to blog as much. I think I've been a little busy too.

Anyway, I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer stand working for the County or living in California and have made the decision to move to Arizona within the next few months. I have a test for Senior Administrative Assistant with the City of West Covina next Thursday. Depending on how well I do on it and what they offer me, I may or may not stay here much longer. Whatever they offer me, if they do, better be freakin awesome, because I pretty much have my heart set on going to Arizona at this point.

There are actually other reasons I want to go, other than my hate for the County and the State of California:

• I just need a change. I want an adventure.
• I don't seem to be finding the type of men that I want to date here or, actually, who deserve to date me. CA is just too liberal for me and consequently, there is hardly anyone here who is willing to love me enough to "wait until marriage."
• Everyone in my family has their own thing going on and it's time for me to really make a life for myself. I've been saying this, but now I'm actually making an active move towards this.
• I have quite a few different opportunities out there. I know I can find work as a Secretary EASILY. I'm not worried about that. I also want to help my friend, Miguel, who now lives out there, build up his business... an Allstate insurance office. I love and trust Miguel and I don't mind living with him until I can find and afford a place of my own.

So, yeah. For the first time in my life the idea of doing such a bold, adventurous thing is not completely terrifying to me. I know that at the end of the day, whether I am successful over there or whether I have to come home because it's just not working out, I'll be okay. I won't be a failure. I have people to come back to who won't look at me like I'm a failure. I'll be proud of myself...

Thanks, Six Flags. Thank you very much...

So, I got a letter in the mail addressed from Elkin, et al. v. Six Flags, Inc., et al. I was expecting this. My sister informed me the other day that Six Flags was involved in a class action lawsuit in which they are to pay employees who worked any time from November 2001 through December 2007 a settlement based on the number of weeks they worked there. My estimated settlement payment is $972.97 (before taxes of course). Not bad!

Apparently, according to my sister, some kids got together, with the help of their lawyer uncle, and brought up a class action suit against Six Flags for "work performed prior to clocking in, after clocking out, and during legally required meal and rest breaks" during the time period specified. I don't have to explain what that means. I do recall a couple of times where this applies to me, but it was mostly when I was working under Kim Kirschenbaum (a.k.a. the Devil) up at Main Gate. So, I do not feel bad about getting some of this money. Plus, after giving 5+ years of my life to that hell hole, I think $900 is the least they can do for me.... haha!

So, now Kim, Katie, Sandy, all my former co-workers, and I are all getting checks! Some are small (less than $200) and some are large ($2500). All are appreciated!

Thank you, Lord. Despite my jokes, this really is a big blessing that I really don't deserve. Thank you!

P.S. I also found out that this summer we should all (everyone in the U.S. who pays taxes) should be getting a check for around $500 as a tax refund. It's still pending approval by Congress, but it should be going through. Score again!!! =)

Happy (late) New Year!

This is only my second post of 2008, but I just realized that I never really rang in the new year with a blog reflecting on 2007 or something corny like that. lol. Well here it is...

My 2007 by all appearances was crap, but I didn't leave it feeling like crap. I lost like 3 friends in 2007, yet I'm not all that beat up about it. Normally, if I was having such bad friend luck I would be all sad and down on myself like something was wrong with me, but no. I think it was because in all three cases, I was the one making the decision to say Adios. All three people turned out to be toxic in their own ways.

I had many car issues (and still do), but for the first time I have hope that my car problems will be over soon. I just have to be patient.

Had issues with my sister on and off for a lot of the year, but by the end, things had resolved themselves and now we are better than we have been in a long while. I think we are both learning to understand each other and respect each other.

Before I sound like the whole year was awful, here are some awesome things that went down:

• My niece Kaylin Oliva Becerra was born! YAY!!!!
• Went "home" to Ireland! Awesome!!!!
• Got promoted to Secretary! Yes!!!

One more: I've really made strides in loving myself and for the first time I really am enjoying being single and not worrying about it to much. I think that's the best thing that happened to me in 2007.... well, next to Kaylin. =)

Coming up for 2008:

1) I plan to stop using credit cards all together in an effort to get myself out of debt. I've already started and I'm doing pretty well.

2) I also plan to get into better shape.

3) Last but not least, I will either get a promotion or leave the County for something better.

Wish me luck!

Old Wounds...

So, last night I had this random dream about Ramon. I don't know if it's because I wasn't feeling well or what, but it was weird...

I was at someone's house in the backyard, when I am approached by Joe, Ramon's brother. He starts almost begging me to take Ramon back as my friend. He tells me that his life is horrible and that he needs me. I kind of don't really want to deal with it, but I can't get away. I sit down on a couch on the side of the house when Ramon walks up almost crying, asking me to be his friend. I don't say anything and I really can't look him in the eye. He gets down and puts his face down on the couch next to me. I start to feel sorry for him and I put my hand on his head.

Next thing you know we are getting out of one of those 1820's-style, almost buggy-like cars with the top down right in front of a really nice hotel. Someone comes to collect our baggage as we check in at the very luxious lobby. Ramon tells them that he needs a room for two, plus a baby on the way. What!!!!!? I know I'm not pregnant, but all of a sudden I realize that he wants to make me pregnant. Are we married? I don't ask, but I'm kind of in shock. We go upstairs and some people are fighting in the hallway, which is nothing like the lobby--dirty with roaches and scum everywhere. We finally find our room when I start feeling uncomfortable, but strangely nice like I am in love or something. Then I wake up from thirst.

Now, all I have been able to think about this whole day was that dream. It was just weird. I don't know that it was anything based on what I would wish for, plus I can honestly say that I have hardly, if at all, thought of Ramon for months now. I have moved on. I haven't heard from him since my birthday and everything has been cool. Now all of a sudden I just have this random dream? It's making me have this incredibly strong longing to just call him and see if he's okay, but I can't. There is no need to open up old wounds...