Freeing the unfulfilled expectations...

WOW!!

Right after I posted my last entry, I read this article on Boundless. It speaks to exactly what I'm talking about: Letting go of unfulfilled dreams and expectations of your life. Very encouraging!

Here's an excerpt:

The truth is, I cannot dream God-sized dreams. I also cannot bear God-sized tragedies. Whether I am realizing dreams or dealing with the loss of them, I need the One who created me and loves me. Like the Moabitess, I can choose each day to cling to Him.

There is comfort in knowing the days of my life are numbered by Him. He knows all of the things I will not be. But really that's not so important. What is more important, is that He knows the things I will be. Things better than I could ever dream up.

Bye bye, young motherhood...

Something just struck me.

I officially would need to get pregnant pretty much right now in order to have a child before the age of 30. That's sad, but at the same time, what can I do? I am not the One in control.

I just never thought I would have kids after my 20s. Boo!

Lord, it's okay. I trust in you and know that you have an appointed time for everything. My 20s were not my time for Children and there IS a reason for it. I might not know what, but I know there is good reason. Thank you, Lord.


On another note, today's verse is a good one (see Bible Gateway Verse of the Day in the column to the right):

Philippians 1:9-10 (New International Version)

"And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ..."

"Why NOT Having Sex Might be Good for You"

Great, great, GREAT article on abstinence from a young comedian, Steven Crowder. Here's an excerpt to whet your appetite:

Sure, Michelle Obama can run around the country and condemn little fatties for inhaling Little Debbies, but if you try and apply that same helpful, healthful concept to sex, it’s seen as pushy and/or prudish.

Listen, one doesn’t need to be religious (nor a rocket scientist) to see the value of abstinence. Let’s disregard the immediately eliminated risk of increasingly popular STD’ and STI’s. Heck, let’s even discount the statistical data showing that sexual exclusivity seems overwhelmingly conducive to a successful marriage .Abstinence also provides an incomparable bond of trust in a relationship.

Yes, I admit it, I’m in a long-term relationship and I’m abstinent. Scandalous, I know. It’s an incredibly difficult thing to do (mostly for me, because she’s way out of my league), and that’s what makes it so important.

I can tell you beyond any doubt, that my lady is able to control herself and stick to her values regardless of circumstance. Just as surely, she can say the same about me (Ben&Jerry’s benders notwithstanding). It is that display of self-control, that tangible example of living your principles through your life’s walk that ensures her that I won’t be jumping on the first well-proportioned opportunity that comes my way.

By the same token, I can rest easy knowing that my dame won’t be trying to bed Jersey Shore’s “The Situation” anytime soon. -- Though he does have great abs.

Strong trust is the result. Constantly we hear cries of women aimed at their supposedly overly jealous boyfriends, “What’s the matter? Don’t you trust me?”

No, he doesn’t. You slept with him on the first date and there is no reason for him to think that you wouldn’t do the same when a better offer comes along.

Full article here.

Deer in Headlights

That's me right now. I don't know what is happening...

Last week I had sent Ramon a message asking if he would be okay with me dropping by to see him while I'm in Texas. He answered me back this weekend and then some. At first it was chit-chat about missing me and saying hi to the family. I returned the sentiment. Then it took a turn.

He started getting into how he missed me and how I've always been special to him and his family. Then it was how his family wanted him to be with a good Christian girl and how he knew one (me), but she didn't want him.

Okay....

All I could do was deflect onto God and said this:

Your family wants you to have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ not to get married to the right girl, but to make sure they see you in Heaven one day. They love you. You need the Lord so you can learn to put Him first and to put other people before yourself. You are not ready to marry anyone until you can start putting God first and the needs of other before your own. I personally want to marry a man who loves God with all his heart and serves others. That's REAL love.

He told me I was right and that he was hoping that one day he could be a great man in the eyes of Jesus and that one day I could see him as a great man.

I really didn't know what to say or do with all this. I just kept trying to answer in the most G0d-honoring way I could think of, but I have to be honest, it was all freaking me out.

Then I come to work this morning and shared what was going on with my Christian sister, Connie, who already knows a little about what's going on, and who, by the way, has said from almost day one that she thinks Ramon is the man the Lord has for me. I shared the string of messages Ramon and I had sent to each other. All I could see was red flags (what?! I've been conditioned to be that way with him... can you blame me? Haha!). All she could see was the work the Lord is doing in this situation. Of course she did... She has a knack for being so positive, while I am super cautious and expect the worse. lol

Well, now things have taken yet ANOTHER turn. While at lunch, I got a text message from Ramon.

"Hey Kristina. It's me Ramon. I'm a Christian now."

Yikes. That was quick, Lord.

Now I feel like Connie may very well be right. Maybe the Lord did intend this guy for me. Maybe the Lord really does make good on His promises.

I guess I'm freaking out because 1) we have a past and 2) I'm not in control--he's not my dream Christian guy. He's a baby. He's flawed. He has a long road to travel in his walk. I hate to admit it, but I'm gonna have to really work at this and I guess I'm realizing that I really didn't want to have to do that.

I'm scared.

Help me, Lord. Make clear what it is You need me to do because right now I'm a deer caught in headlights...


P.S. Now that I've gotten this whole "me, me, me" meltdown out... Thank you, Jesus!!! for delivering my friend. Bless his life and bless his walk. Keep him in Your hands. Minister to him right where he is at this moment. Lord, you are amazing!!! Thank you for allowing me to have even a small part in this miracle. Praise Your holy name. I know the angels are rejoicing at this very moment. Hallelujah!

A little of this and a little of that....

Work is no fun right now. I'm bored all the time. Even when I have stuff to do. Then to make matters worse the guy filling in for the big boss while he's on sabbatical is annoying. This guy is so erratic and flighty. There is no order at all. I can't stand it and I can't stand the way he does things. Thank God next week is his last week...


Some good news: The Secretary III, IV, and V tests opened back up. Thank you, Jesus. I literally teared up and thanked God. I didn't think this opportunity would come up for a LONG time because of the economy and budget issues. You better believe I applied for them IMMEDIATELY. I know I don't deserve it, but I'm hoping for favor on this. I really need to be doing more with my skills and knowledge. This just isn't enough...


I'm planning to go to Texas in the beginning of November. I want to see my cousin's little girl, who moved there a while ago and to whom I was not able to say a proper goodbye. I also just want to check Texas out and see if it is the type of place to which I would like to escape... er go. lol.

I have to admit, too, that I want to go see Ramon. I want to see how he's holding up. I'm curious to see what God has hopefully done in his life since going there. I want to see if he really has changed at all. I want to see his brothers and how they are being blessed by their service to the Lord. I want to see the family in general.

So yeah. I think all of that is a good reason to take my butt over to Texas for a weekend or a little longer...


I'm looking forward to another swamped October. I have Kaylin's 3rd birthday party, Misty's Baby Shower that I am co-hosting, a trip to Vegas for my sister's birthday and who knows what else. I have no idea why that month is always so full for me. At least I don't have to worry about Halloween. I've pretty much resigned myself to never "celebrating" it ever again. It's just not my thing and I KNOW it's not God's thing either, so that's enough reason for me. At least it means that Christmas is around the corner though. I love Christmas...


Got a call from my friend Mandy last night. My 10-year-old goddaughter got Above Average across the board on her state testing and she's getting an award for it. I'm so proud of her. Way to go, Julia!! Yay!!! I hope this is a sign of amazing things yet to come for her...


One last thing: I pulled out the bulletin from my last visit to church. It was dated August 1. Not good. That means it has been more than a month and a half since I set foot in a church. This is a problem. Lord, help me to fix this problem. Take away the excuses. I really need You and the fellowship of Your people...

Hypocricy, thy name is Radical Islam...

HT: Thoughts from a Conservative Mom

Forgetting the Single... and laughing about it.

Now for a laugh, here is the very next comment, which is hilarious and to which I can also relate:

20. Alexandra said the following at 9:24 PM on Sep 15:

Just ran into an old friend I hadn't seen for a while. She's about my age (30) and single, like me. We chatted and then she said, "so, seeing anyone; any changes in that department?" "Nope, I'm 'seeking first the kingdom,'" I said, smiling in a semi-insane way.

She almost died laughing. I think I'm going to start a new women's ministry called "Seeking First the Kingdom Club". It's for never-married women past 28. Sounds better than "old maids til the rapture" I guess.

SFK club represent!! Here is our cheer.

We're content!

Content just how we are!

We like men a lot!

But most of them are already married!

Or not as obsessed with Jesus as we are!

In the old days we'd be nuns!

But we're Protestant!

And we'd like to have sex and kids someday!

But only within the God-honoring context of marriage!

So we're kind of stuck!

But very, very content!

Seeking first, Seeking first, Seeking first the kingdom ofGod!!!

YEAH!

LOL!!!

Forgetting the Single...

As single Christians we are called to serve. It's a good thing. But who serves us? Not many. When we are sad about our singleness and feeling our loneliness deep down in the recesses of our souls, we are pretty much told to suck it up, trust in the Lord, and be happy in our singleness. I've always felt that approach is way insensitive and doesn't serve or minister to us at all. (Apparently these people have completely forgotten what life was like when they were all alone.)

Well, as usual, I was reading Boundless and came across this post, which lead to a comment stream on trying to be content in your singleness.

This portion of a comment was so good and SO TRUE... I had to share it:

19. kaj said the following at 8:47 PM on Sep 15:

[...]

I challenge the married and dating people (and other singles as well) out in Boundless-Land: What are you doing to facilitate contentedness in your single friends?

Have you invited them to your home so they can enjoy a home-cooked meal, with a generous side order of fellowship, thus rescuing them from another mundane drive-through fast-food dinner?

I was hungry and you fed Me.

Have you invited them to grab some coffee (or whatever beverage suits you,) and find out about their life, such as their job or their hobbies?

I was thirsty and you gave Me something to drink.

Have you reached out to the newbie loitering in the church lobby, or maybe see someone sitting alone in a restaurant and said, "Hi, we are [names]; come join us?"

I was a stranger and you took Me in.

How about inviting an apartment-dwelling single to a day of free laundry at your house, where they won't have to worry about an evil "quarter-munching monster" and have time to talk between the dark loads and the permanent press cycles?

I was naked and you clothed Me.

Maybe they just need a shoulder to cry on, with no overworn clichés about being single (or what it would take to no longer be single). Perhaps you know a single person who is just brokenhearted and just needs to know someone who cares. Maybe (as appropriate), just a hug would do.

I was sick and you visited Me.

Or, perhaps, there's some single person who doesn't know where to go to enjoy fellowship and community, but you know where a bunch of your friends are hanging out, such as your neighbor's annual backyard cookout. The single person now has an excuse to "get out of the house."

I was in prison and you came to Me.

Maybe some singles exude an air of desperation or "discontentedness" because there are legitimate needs that haven't been met yet.

There has to be some things people of the Body of Christ can do to alleviate the struggles singles face: loneliness (some, for many reasons, don't even have a dog or a cat to come home to, Ashley in comment #7), physical needs (moving furniture, simple car repairs or résumé proofreading, perhaps?), or other things a couple (courting/dating, engaged, or married) might take for granted.

Then, perhaps, those "desperate-looking" singles won't appear so "desperate" anymore, because they have people who cared for them both in word and deed.

The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for Me.

I'm NOT going to Peru...

I'm not going to Peru after all.

Almost immediately after agreeing to go to Peru, something didn't feel right. I just wasn't truly excited about it inside. It felt like a mistake. I kept feeling like my spirit was telling me it was a bad idea... "something bad will happen."

Then I started thinking that maybe the Devil was messing with me. Maybe he didn't want me to go because I might reach someone for the Lord.

But no. Something still seemed off.

I finally prayed about it and asked God to let me know if He wanted me to go. Then a couple of days later I mentioned to my mom that I wasn't sure about going. That's when she told me she was sort of happy to hear that.

She had days earlier decided to get the roof fixed on her old house--the house I live in now. It was going to be a big burden on her to pay for that and cover my airfare (her idea, not mine). So she was thinking of asking me not to go after all.

Well there was my answer, loud and clear: DON'T GO.

So I'm being obedient. With winter (and rain) on the horizon, I definitely need a roof much more than I need a trip to Peru. So for now, I am not going to Peru.

I am going to Texas though. More on that later... =)

Justifiable upset-ness....

I've had a lot going on lately, but I either can't write about it (all I can say is that I, and then my family, was blindsided and attacked by an old "friend") or I just don't care to write about it.

Anyway, right now I'm PISSED.

My sister scared the living daylights out of us this morning.

If you don't come home from work and don't let anyone know where you are all night, people ARE going to worry. Plain and simple.

Thoughts of you laying dead somewhere or your car burned beyond recognition or some other horror of that nature ARE going to invade their thoughts. Think about that.

So when they do finally track you down, don't give them attitude for disturbing your sleep. Just apologize and say you'll never do it again. It's the least you can do.

By the way, my sister is an a**hole.

>=( <----- My current angry face

The 9/11 Letter

I referred to this way back in 2007. I found it for your enjoyment. If you don't agree.... well.... I DON'T CARE!

God Bless America!

9/11 Raw (Crystal Morning)

Annual 9/11 Rememberence

It doesn't get easier looking back at 9/11 and watching all the tributes and specials on TV every year, but it's necessary. I'll never stop pausing and remembering when that date roles around because I don't want to forget why we are so great and how there are radical people out there, Islamic or otherwise, that want to see us fail--that want to see this country destroyed.

I will never forget.

God bless this great country. God bless those who died that day. God bless those men and women that ran INTO the buildings at their own peril. God bless those people that gave their lives because they wouldn't allow a plane to make it to Washington DC. God bless the people who see fit to make it their mission that something like this never happens to us again.

God HELP our President to see that we are NOT the bad guys...

Is Hell freezing over?

Fidel Castro admits that Communism in his country doesn't work:

Jeffrey Goldberg, a national correspondent for The Atlantic magazine, asked Castro if Cuba's economic system was still worth exporting to other countries, and Castro replied: "The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore," Goldberg wrote Wednesday in a post on his Atlantic blog.

WOW!! I'm wondering if this is some kind of trick, but then again the end of the article says that he still embraces socialism and rejects capitalism.

Either way, this is pretty shocking. I bet Che's rolling over in his grave. At the very least he's grabbing a scarf because I know he ain't in Heaven....