She's just not all that into you...

Ugh!

Okay, this is embarrassing, but I signed up a few weeks ago with a Christian dating site (not eHarmony). Sure enough, I got a few hits and one of them caught my attention. So we've been emailing back and forth and he seemed like a cool guy. He wanted to meet up and suggested that he visit my church. So, we made plans to go to church together on Easter (yesterday).

I was excited to get to know this guy because he seems like he wants all the same things I do. From his pictures he looked like a cutie. He said he was 5'9 and "large, but muscular." He was in the Army. I can work with all that. Cool. So, I go ahead and make the plans to meet up and give him my number. He calls me and we talk a little bit.

From the moment I heard his voice, however, something told me that this guy was not on the caliber of guys I usually like. To be quite frank, he sounded like a straight homeboy from East L.A. or something (anyone who knows me, knows I am not into the thuggish guys... at least I haven't been since I was like 14), and he is real adament that we go to a Dodger game next week (we don't even know if we like each other yet, son). Well, I'm a little apprehensive, but I still try to remind myself of the good things about him and keep going back to look at them pictures (lol).

Finally, Easter comes and I am just having this sinking feeling that I'm going to be disappointed. Sure enough, I meet the guy and he is nothing like his pictures. He is about my height (which is NOT 5'9... more like 5'7) and he's really "fluffy"--to put it nicely. Uh-uh. Now I really hate to sound superficial, I really do because I am not perfect myself by any means, but this is nothing like the guy I was expecting. I realized right then and there that what I saw was the Army him, 7 years ago, when he was fit and looking good. On top of that he was wearing a giant T-shirt and a giant pair of jeans... So not cleancut like I like my boys. He was just so not my style at all.

In a way I felt kind of mad like he lied to me. He never said that he didn't look like the guy in the pictures, but still. By posting up those pics of himself when he looked much different then he does now is really deceiving. This is a Christian website.... aren't we supposed to be as honest as possible? (Seriously, I posted pictures of me that were not so hot because I wanted to keep it real.) Again, I know this is coming off very superficial, but I'm not going to front like it isn't important that I am attracted to the guy I want to date and possibly marry someday. This guy is in no way attractive to me and I could not see myself with him. I'm just being real here.

(See, this is why I didn't want to have to turn to one of these sites in the first place! You never really know what you are going to get.... not to mention the loser factor when you have to resort to these sites to find love.)

Now, he's emailing me asking me if I want to go to dinner sometime. I don't know what to say. Obviously the answer is no, but how do I tell him that without coming off as a horrible person. At the same time, I do NOT want to lie or lead this guy on or waste his and my time. I know it's going to suck, but I think I'm just going to have to flat out tell him. I'm such a chicken though, so it may have to be via email. Does that make me an awful person? I know I should probably tell him to his face or at least call, but I just don't have the courage for that. At least I'm being honest now and not waiting until later....

Phooey! Never doing that again!