I fear...

I just read this blog post on Boundless about fear and what it holds us back from. I scrolled down to read the comments and this one really hit home:

Naomi said the following at 8:47 AM on Aug 31:

I fear keeping my standards high and ending up alone.

I fear lowering my standards and ending up with a man who breaks my heart.

I fear missing the voice of God and His leading in the path of my life.

I fear being comfortable enough to stay here/doing this/the same thing forever.

I fear being "good" at many things and "great" at nothing.

I fear becoming the kind of person that everyone thinks is interesting & attractive, but no man wants enough to pursue.

I fear being okay with complacency and never aspiring to greater goals.

I fear having said the wrong thing at an opportune time and forever changed the course of my life.

I fear loving technology too much and neglecting the practice of true living.

I fear the paralyzing consequences of fear itself.

What could change if I did not fear? Only--and most importantly--my trust in God.

I literally teared up because I have the exact same fears and they are very present at the moment. I hate them. Particulary the first, second and sixth, and ESPECIALLY the 8th.

Lord, please take these fears far far away. I don't want to be trapped in their grip. Help me to continue to cast my cares upon you.


On a side note, I wanted to record the quote of the day from my friend Connie:

"Just remember that when things are from God, they will just fall into place peacefully and without strife.....there will be no doubt in your mind that it is the Lord that is working."

My grass is made of gold...

Wow. So I was going through a box (which was apparently something I should have saved for another day because now my back is throbbing, but I digress) and I found a message form from work. It was clearly from a couple of years ago when I was in my old section at work. On it I wrote the following:

I'm in another world of make-believe where good is still good and bad is still bad. I choose to stay here even though it isn't the most comfortable. It's no the easiest. The grass sometimes looks greener outside of here, but then I remember that my grass is made of gold. My water tastes sweet and what awaits me is better. So laugh at my world and tell me it's not real. Soon you will see, my world will win and yours fades away.

I really wish I could remember what was going on in my life to prompt me to write this. I'm sure I was feeling attacked for me beliefs, or maybe I was just feeling more and more frustrated with a broken and disgusting world that has lost all sense of right and wrong, good and evil.

I don't know. I don't even remember writing it, but I'm glad I found it.

Down for the count...

I'm starting to feel like my body is turning against me. Or maybe it just feels like it wants to go to the ER. On Thursday I was having the anxiety-induced chest pain that had been lingering for three days. I gave that to the Lord and it went away, but now something even worse has happened.

Thursday night I came to my sister Kim's house so that I could watch my niece yesterday, Friday. I spent the night in my step-niece Maddy's bed. No bueno. That mattress is way old and has no support. So, Friday, I somehow managed to throw out my lower back and it was made worse when I tried to pick Alexis up.

Now I've been in excruciating pain since yesterday. I can't leave because I'm afraid to drive. Thankfully, my brother-in-law hooked me up with a heating pad that I slept with all night and which I am using as I type this. It's alleviated alot of the pain, but unfortunately I can't take it with me when I get up... so yeah.

Well, my dad is now on his way over because I can't take it anymore. Hopefully, he can crack it or at least massage it, but honestly I don't know there is much he can do. I think it's a deep tissue issue (haha... that rhymes... lol). I had the same problem nearly 15 years ago when I was in H.S. It literally put me out of P.E. for a month. Back then I was WAY more out of shape, so I'm surprised this would happen again, but here we are.

Now not only am I not happy about being in pain (of course), but I'm also irritated that this going to foil my plans for signing up for the gym. I get paid Monday and I was planning to go sign up right after work. Yeah. That's so not happening now for a while. What I will need to do is get back to doing Pilates because, just like when this happened 15 years ago, I'm going to have to strengthen both my ab and back muscles.

Gah!!!

This is my trade-off for having such a young-looking face--the rest of my body is old and falling apart..... lol

*sigh*

Cares...

For the last 3 days I’ve felt like someone is sitting on my chest. There’s a tightness and I feel like I need to, every once in a while, take deep breaths.

STRESS

I’m stressed. I have a lot on my mind: Finances. Love life. Leaving California. Etc. So much to think about.

I know I’m not supposed to worry. I’m commanded to “cast my cares upon the Lord, for He cares about [me].” (1 Peter 5:7) It’s so much easier said than done…. even if it IS sinful and I know it.

FINANCES: My debt has gone down from over $20,000 to $8,000. That is SO good, so what’s the problem? I get excited and almost high off of paying this debt off. It’s become my obsession. Everyday I’m looking at the chart I created to track my debt and how I’m paying it down. I’m starting to try to find ways to pay it off faster. Take that and couple it with worrying about saving money for my Birthday trip to NYC next year and trying to figure out a way to move out on my own. All of this is causing me stress.

LOVE LIFE: I asked the Lord to put me to sleep to my love life the way he had to put Adam to sleep in order to give him Eve. It was working. I wasn’t thinking about my singleness and I wasn’t worried about the plan the Lord has for me. Then Ramon popped up (I touched on it here, but there are new developments that I'll have to get into another day). Now I’m second-guessing myself. Now I’m letting my mind wander to unnecessary places. I allowed myself to worry about it again. STOP!

LEAVING CALIFORNIA: I really just want out of here. I want to be able to start fresh somewhere where people actually have morals and values. Where Jesus is welcome and the Ten Commandments are still a standard to live by. Where the Bible isn’t “open to interpretation” or just a silly book. I just want to be around people who understand me. I’m over California. I’m over the scene. I’m over the boys (not men---BOYS). I’m over it. It’s stressful trying to figure out where I can go. I do have one option: Texas. Deciding whether to do that is, again, stressful. =/

Lord, help me. I’m tired of worrying. Teach me to be content. Hit me over the head with it like a sledgehammer so that it’s imprinted there forever. Burn contentment in You into my mind and onto my heart. I know it’s not about me. It’s about YOU. Help me to train my focus solely on You.

Forgive my worry…

The price of free handouts: Your freedom

From The Freeman:

There’s an old story worth retelling about a band of wild hogs which lived along a river in a secluded area of Georgia. These hogs were a stubborn, ornery, and independent bunch. They had survived floods, fires, freezes, droughts, hunters, dogs, and everything else. No one thought they could ever be captured.

One day a stranger came into town not far from where the hogs lived and went into the general store. He asked the storekeeper, "Where can I find the hogs? I want to capture them." The storekeeper laughed at such a claim but pointed in the general direction. The stranger left with his one-horse wagon, an axe, and a few sacks of corn.

Two months later he returned, went back to the store and asked for help to bring the hogs out. He said he had them all penned up in the woods. People were amazed and came from miles around to hear him tell the story of how he did it.

"The first thing I did," the stranger said, "was to clear a small area of the woods with my axe. Then I put some corn in the center of the clearing. At first, none of the hogs would take the corn. Then after a few days, some of the young ones would come out, snatch some corn, and then scamper back into the underbrush. Then the older ones began taking the corn, probably figuring that if they didn’t get it, some of the other ones would. Soon they were all eating the corn. They stopped grubbing for acorns, and roots on their own. About that time, I started building a fence around the clearing, a little higher each day. At the right moment, I built a trap door and sprung it. Naturally, they squealed and hollered when they knew I had them, but I can pen any animal on the face of the earth if I can first get him to depend on me for a free handout!"

This was the intro to an article on the similarities between what's going on in this country right now and what happened in the Roman Empire before it fell. Read the rest here.

Change yourself...

Great quote from Good Morning Nubia_Group:

I’m going to Peru!

Whaaaaaaat?! I know. Crazy, right?

My cousin Kristi is currently on a missions trip in Peru (I wrote about it here). She’s serving in an orphanage in Trujillo for a year. I am so proud of her, but before she left I was a little sad that I wasn’t able to do something like that myself. Because I got myself into all that debt, I put myself into a position where I am trapped and not able to serve the Lord fully with my time like we singles are meant (and commanded) to do. I am a slave to my debt, which is a big no-no. Thankfully, that won’t be for much longer.

Anyway, my aunt Jackie, Kristi’s mother, is already dying to see her daughter (they are beyond close). She shared with my Mom that she wants to go see Kristi soon. Unbeknownst to me, my mom was already thinking about sending me to Peru and shared that with my aunt. So they decided that my Mom would send me with my aunt—not only to see my cousin, but to act as a translator for my poor aunt who doesn’t know a lick of Spanish.

WORKS FOR ME!

My mom broke the news to me a couple days ago that they were thinking about it and trying to figure out the right dates. They were looking at October. I got to work and started looking at October on my calendar and it wasn’t looking like a good time for me, so I was getting ready to tell them both that I didn’t think I could do it.

Then I got a voicemail from my aunt last night. She had spilled the beans to my cousin, who in turn told her that October wouldn’t work for her either. So they moved it to November. I came to work this morning and looked at the calendar. November is PERFECT.

So IT’S ON! I’m going to Peru.

I can’t believe it. I never really thought I would travel to South America, let alone Peru, but I’ll take it!

What a blessing. Thank you, Lord. You are way too good to me. This may not be a full-on missions trip, but that doesn’t mean I can’t be used in the short time I’m there.

How exciting!!

Reagan knew... why don't we?

Inflation is caused by one thing, and it has one answer. It's caused by government spending more than government takes in, and it will go away when government stops doing that, and not before.…

-Ronald Reaga, Nov. 10, 1977 - Speech at Hillsdale College

So what is so hard to understand, people? Why the heck is our government putting us in more and more debt? Why do they think that the solution to being stuck in a hole is to keep shoveling deeper and deeper? Why do I have to cut back and start spending less than what I make in order to survive, but the government doesn't?

*sigh*

From his same speech:

Sometimes I think that government fits that old-fashioned definition of a baby: An alimentary canal with an appetite at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

VIRGIN

Amen!

Callate el osico, Sr. Reid....

Translated: "Shut your trap, Mr. Reid..."




(Click on the picture to see the full cartoon from Hope 'N Change Cartoons.)

Exactly, you racist. You just want us all to stay on the Government Plantation through total dependence on the government, a victimhood mentality, handouts, etc. and the quickest way there is to ascribe to all that Liberal Democrat nonsense. You've convinced many young Hispanics that they aren't "real" Hispanics unless they are Democrats, but you haven't convinced this one. I very much like the American ideals of freedom, liberty, hard work, free speech, freedom of religion, Capitalism, etc., and if more Hispanics would stop and pay attention they would realize they believe in those things too....

2011 Tax Hikes: Bad News

Got this from the MommyLife Blog and it's disgusting:

Six Months to Go Until The Largest Tax Hikes in History
From Ryan Ellis on Wednesday, July 7, 2010 5:27 PM

In just six months, the largest tax hikes in the history of America will take effect. They will hit families and small businesses in three great waves on January 1, 2011:

(N.B. This version of the document contains even more tax hikes than the original version did)

First Wave: Expiration of 2001 and 2003 Tax Relief

In 2001 and 2003, the GOP Congress enacted several tax cuts for investors, small business owners, and families. These will all expire on January 1, 2011:

Personal income tax rates will rise. The top income tax rate will rise from 35 to 39.6 percent (this is also the rate at which two-thirds of small business profits are taxed). The lowest rate will rise from 10 to 15 percent. All the rates in between will also rise. Itemized deductions and personal exemptions will again phase out, which has the same mathematical effect as higher marginal tax rates. The full list of marginal rate hikes is below:

- The 10% bracket rises to an expanded 15%
- The 25% bracket rises to 28%
- The 28% bracket rises to 31%
- The 33% bracket rises to 36%
- The 35% bracket rises to 39.6%

Higher taxes on marriage and family. The "marriage penalty" (narrower tax brackets for married couples) will return from the first dollar of income. The child tax credit will be cut in half from $1000 to $500 per child. The standard deduction will no longer be doubled for married couples relative to the single level. The dependent care and adoption tax credits will be cut.

The return of the Death Tax. This year, there is no death tax. For those dying on or after January 1 2011, there is a 55 percent top death tax rate on estates over $1 million. A person leaving behind two homes and a retirement account could easily pass along a death tax bill to their loved ones.

Higher tax rates on savers and investors. The capital gains tax will rise from 15 percent this year to 20 percent in 2011. The dividends tax will rise from 15 percent this year to 39.6 percent in 2011. These rates will rise another 3.8 percent in 2013.

Second Wave: Obamacare

There are over twenty new or higher taxes in Obamacare. Several will first go into effect on January 1, 2011. They include:

[...]

The "Medicine Cabinet Tax" Thanks to Obamacare, Americans will no longer be able to use health savings account (HSA), flexible spending account (FSA), or health reimbursement (HRA) pre-tax dollars to purchase non-prescription, over-the-counter medicines (except insulin).

[...]

Brand Name Drug Tax. Starting next year, there will be a multi-billion dollar tax assessment imposed on name-brand drug manufacturers. This tax, like all excise taxes, will raise the price of medicine, hurting everyone.

Read on for more of the fun news...

Being Good and Garlic!

10 years ago I was very overweight. I was over 200 lbs and not at all living even a hint of a healthy lifestyle. We were driving up to Oregon for a family reunion and I was wearing shorts. I got out of the car and my sisters ever so kindly said, "Mmm... I feel like eating some cottage cheese." They were referring to my legs. Everything changed after that.

My mom had been mentioning the Atkins Diet and I thought it sounded crazy, restrictive, and not healthy (as do most people when they hear about what it entails). I kind of brushed it off initially, but after my sisters so gently made clear just how fat I had gotten, something clicked and I was willing to try anything. So we started the Atkins Diet and the weight literally began to melt off... 50 lbs of it to be exact. It changed my life.

Ever since then I have been living a lower-carb lifestyle and try to exercise regularly, which has allowed me to maintain the same size for the last 10 years. I have my ups and then my downs, but I generally stay at around a size 10. Well, I want to be smaller! So I've decided to step it up and go back to the very low-carb lifestyle.

I figure my body has now been accustomed to this size for so long that I could get away with losing lot of weight before plateauing. I'm hoping for 20 to 30 lbs and hopefully down to a size 7 if not smaller. I also am starting a new exercise routine with a friend to help the process out. Hopefully in a few months I'll be a whole new person. I'm already seeing results in only a week and a half. That's what I love about low-carb. The fat literally melts off.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yesterday was my good friend Mandy's birthday. I surprised her with dinner at The Stinking Rose. I've been wanting to go there forever and let me tell you it was WORTH the wait. Big time. The food was absolutely amazing. Everything is infused with garlic and Mandy and I are both garlic lovers. It was perfect.

The only downsize: I'm still burping up garlic as I type this. LOL.

Whatever. Like I said, totally worth it. If you're in the Beverly Hills or San Francisco area, please check this place out. It's pricey (I literally dropped $100 on food for both of us and valet), but you won't regret it...

And yes, if you are wondering, I did cheat and have some of their ciabatta bread with Bagna Calda. lol

The Drive-in isn't dead...

I just read this great column on Brietbart.com where the auther relives his times at the Drive-in. It's so sad that most of the Drive-ins in Southern California are dead and gone. We used to go every weekend when I was a kid. If it wasn't the Van Nuys theater, it was the Winnetka. EVERY weekend during the summer.

THANKFULLY, some do still exist. We regularly go to the Mission Tiki Drive-in in Pomona. If you are nearby, check it out. $7 gets you a double-feature and the movies are new releases.

Anyway, we did (and do) things a little differently than others. Back in the days, we usually brought my dad's truck and loaded up with blankets. There would be 5 or 6 of us kids (my sisters and I, plus neighborhood friends) laying in the back of the truck and a couple in the front seat with Dad. Yes, we drove to the movies that way. Dangerous right? We loved it. We would make a game of trying to stay as flat as possible while trying to make sure the blankets didn't fly away.

I remember watching La Bamba and mom crying when he sang "Oh Donna," because her name is Donna. lol. I remember watching Jurrasic Park and telling my little cousin George to wake up because they were about to pass Barney on the screen. I remember watching Hocus Pocus and getting in trouble because my friend dared me to flip my sister off and I did. (Tattle-tell! lol) I remember watching The Lion King and getting angry because right when they started singing "Can You Feel the Love Tonight" the train decided to come by and last through the whole song so we couldn't hear any of it. (Is it me, or is/was every drive-in near a train track?)

Ah. Fun times! So many memories!

Now, we fill up the trunk with a ba-zillion old and new blankets and plenty of pillows. The old ones are used to make a mattress-like padding that is laid over the gravel. The new blankets we use to cover ourselves and stay warm. We lay out in the cool night air and enjoy our movie and we love it. You can talk, laugh, pass snacks around, and never bother anyone. You can't beat it.

I hope the Drive-in never completely dies because it will kill me if my kids never get to experience it...


Here's an excerpt from Mr. Nolte's ode to his drive-in days:

The price of admission wasn’t five dollars per person, it was five dollars per carload, and that admission wasn’t for one movie, it was for two and sometimes three. We would always arrive early so there would be no competition for a parking slot that no small amount of experimenting had proven to be the very best: a spot just off center but built a little higher than the others where the front wheels sat. As hours of movie-watching passed, this small advantage proved easier on the neck.

To avoid the cost of concessions there was the Styrofoam cooler, always packed with a beer or two for him, a wine cooler or two for her, and hot dogs wrapped in tinfoil that we would warm up between shows on the Riv’s mighty engine block.

In the dusk, children would take advantage of the broken-down playground that sat directly in front of the giant screen, and the sounds of their pleasure would then blend with the even sweeter sounds of tires crunching gravel, car doors slamming, and far-off adult voices and laughter all set to the tinny music that played through those deceptively heavy speakers before the show began. The sounds were timeless, and if you closed your eyes and took a moment, you could transport yourself back to when your parents were young. For all the many wonders available for only five-dollars a carload just off of Highway 145, the Starlight Drive-In was also a perfectly-kept time capsule of the year of its construction.

Before it got dark enough to justify doing so, the projectionist would always stubbornly start the first feature anyway, usually a second-run film. Still, we would all honk our horns and flash our headlights to mark the occasion. And what an occasion Hollywood delivered.

Read full article...

Francis Chan and me?

Why did I have a dream last night that I was prego out of wedlock and Francis Chan and I were in love with each other? Hahaha!!!

In the dream, Francis' wife had died and I think he took pity on me because of my "situation." So somehow we just fall in love. (I can't believe I'm admitting this, but I'm pretty sure we made out in the dream too... LOL)

Hysterical and random.... and WEIRD. Weird because who sees religious leaders in a romantic way? I normall don't, I can tell you that. Plus, I don't think I've ever even been attracted to an Asian man before. Not that I have anything against them, I'm just more inclined toward the "browner" men (my daddy's Mexican; what do you want?). =)

But anyway.... Thought I would share and jot it down for posterity.

Too funny.....

On and off my nerves...

One day I'm fine. One day everything and everone is getting on my nerves.

I don't know what the deal is. I'm sure it has to do with a combo of my ovarian cyst issues and stress, but some of it is just plain other people being ridiculous and propelling me into annoyance.

I think I've resolved in my mind that I am going to try my best to get myself moved back to the Pomona-ish area by this time next year. In the meantime, I have to "wait it out" in the Valley. I think I have subconciously opened up a window in my mind that allows me to be extra annoyed with everything in the Valley and in the house because I know I won't be there forever. I know that's wrong and I need to get it under control because I don't want to drive the people around me crazy. It's hard though because the people around me are also sometimes getting on my nerves. lol.

I also think that I'm just not cut out for living with a sibling. Because of our established roles in the family, things don't change. Translation: My little sister thinks she can come in my room and mess with my stuff the way she did when we were little. Uh no. We are adults now. You can't just take my stuff, especially because there is no Mom and Dad to protect you. =)

I know it's all just little things. I shouldn't sweat the small things. It's just that the small things can all add up to one big ball of frustration.


Lord, help me out. Calm my spirit. Help me to be content and to not allow little things to break my positive stride. Help me to be happy in all situations and circumstances. Help me to address things in a way that is not offensive or mean. Help me to lower my expectations. Help me to live You at all times... in my waking, in my sleeping, in my working, in my driving, in my speaking. In everything. Thank you, Lord.

Heart-bursting love...

There is nothing like my niece wrapping her little 2-(almost 3-)year-old arms around me and pronouncing to the world, "Dis is mi tia." Translation: This is MY tia (aunt).

There is nothing like her coming up to me, giving me a big hug around the thighs, and then slapping my butt. Hahaha! (I know that sounds bad, but--right or wrong--it's her way of showing she likes you. We're gonna have to break her of that habit though.... lol)

There's nothing like her turning to me and saying, "Kitina, you silly." To which I reply, "You're silly!" To which she replies, "You silly too!" Brings a smile to my face every time.

I love my nieces. Both of them... actually ALL, since I also have a step-niece, Maddy. But Kaylita just has a very special little nook all to herself in my heart. It amazes me how much she gravitates to me. I think something in her heart responds to the something in my heart that loves her so very much.

Man, I can't wait to have my own little ones, because there's definitely enough love in here to go around!

I imagine this is how God feels toward each and every one of us.... times a billion.

Die-hard Anne Fan

I admit it. I'm obsessed. It started with Anne of Green Gables, and now, 4 books later, I'm completely attached... simultaneously looking forward to and greiving over the last two books in the serious. It's almost over! No!

I've been so engrossed that I literally asked my Mom for nothing more than the whole series for my birthday. It's that bad.

Why did I never read these as a child? If I have daughters, they are so getting to know Anne as early as possible. What little girl--or even big girl, as I can attest to--wouldn't fall in love with Anne (with an "e") Shirley? =)

"Isn't it splendid to think of all the things there are to find out about? It just makes me feel glad to be alive--it's such an interesting world. It wouldn't be half so interesting if we know all about everything, would it? There'd be no scope for imagination then, would there?" Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables)

Finding my place in the world...

I've been away from Pomona/the Inland Empire and living with my sister and her BFF in my Mom's old house for a little over 2 months and one things' for sure: I detest the Valley and I want to go back to Pomona/the I.E. as soon as possible.

The problem: I don't want to live with my parents and I know that the Lord has put me where I am for a reason (don't know what that is yet), as well as to help my sister.

I've tried to settle in and, to be honest, as long as I don't have to leave my house or be in the general vicinity of my house when not inside (a.k.a. in the neighborhood), I've been fine, but I just don't like it. It's worse when I go to Pomona for Dentist appointments and such. The minute I set food in my parents' house, I feel right at home and remember just how convenient and much calmer the whole area is.

I haven't been to church since I moved, save for Father's Day at Calvary Chapel Chino Valley and this last Sunday, when I house-sat for my parents, which also meant a trip to CCCV. Other than that, I haven't even attended the church I used to go to before I moved to Pomona. I'm just not interested. I can't help but feel like my church home is CCCV and no where else. And I miss it DESPERATELY!

All this to say, I think when my cousin returns from her mission trip to Peru in exactly one year (she left this last weekend... so proud of her!!), I'm going to ask her if she wants to get an apartment together in maybe the Covina area.

I'm going to pray on it, but I already feel like it's a good idea. I can come back to the area I've grown to love, but I won't have to live with my parents and I'll still be independant. Plus, it would be great to live with someone who loves the Lord so much and who I can trust (like I do now), and BONUS: who won't mess with my stuff. lol

We'll see. Check back in a year and we'll see what God brings into my life from now until then. =)

(Almost) Best Birthday Ever! (Part 2)

So the second thing I did for my birthday was also Disney-related: Disneyland and Disney's California Adventure! The main reason we (Mandy, Baby, Mom, Dad, and I) went, beside it being my birthday, was to see World of Color. It was SO worth it. That show was AMAZING and it definitely tugged at my heartstrings. If you can, make sure you go see it.

Aside from World of Color, the highlights were:

- The Blue Bayou for dinner. Love that place. Another thing you must do if you haven't... and have the Monte Cristo. It's a heart attack on a plate, but so worth it. lol.

- The Mark Twain (the big river boat). I seriously haven't done that since I was a kid and it was pretty cool. Especially since they've had some changes to the things you see when you take a cruise on the Rivers of America. Pretty cool.

Overall, as I said in the previous birthday post, this was one of the best birthdays I've EVER had. Thank you, Lord, for another blessed year of life. =)


Below are some shots from my phone for your enjoyment.

Yes! Happy Birthday to me!

The Wonder Wheel at DCA. Later on this will light up nice and pretty like.

Mom and Dad had a blast on Toy Story Mania... it was the first time for both.

Mandy, Baby, and Me on Thunder Mountain

World of Color about to start.

Ooooooo. Pretty.

Fire!

Lady and the Tramp. =)

Introverts explained...

I still owe you Part 2 of my last post. Sorry about that. It's coming. In the meantime...


Oh. My. Gosh.

This article from Boundless is totally about me. No seriously. No really:

I have a confession to make: I am a Friendship Focus failure.

Friendship Focus is a time in my church's Sunday morning services when we extend the traditional "good morning" and a handshake to 15 full minutes of getting tea or
coffee, saying hello to the people around us, and, ideally, introducing ourselves to new people and getting to know them.

I am great at the getting tea or coffee part. The chatting it up with the entire congregation, not so much. Sometimes I try. Sometimes I just take a really long time at the tea table so it will all be over and I can go sit down.

The above confession might lead you to believe that I'm shy. I'm not. I enjoy people and getting to know them. I have no problem with sharing my thoughts and opinions, even controversial ones, and in Bible studies I spend a lot of time biting my tongue so other people will have a chance to answer questions. I perform poetry and narrative with Soli Deo Gloria Ballet several times a year, as well as acting as our spokesperson, and I don't even get butterflies in my stomach when it comes to standing in front of a room full of people and speaking. And ever since I was a kid, I've been the one who went to great lengths to make sure new people were greeted and made comfortable. I'm not shy. What I am is introverted. And sometimes in church, that can be a problem.

It's like the writer, Rachel, is in my head or something.... I totally relate. This exactly describes me. I'm not anti-social--I LIKE people and making new friends--I'm just a total introvert.

An "introvert," as defined by the Myers-Briggs personality system, is someone who is more thought-oriented than action-oriented and gets energy from time spent alone. Some people argue that Jesus may have been an introvert: He often withdrew to be alone with His Father; He related to crowds in the way a purpose-driven introvert would do (teach, reach out one-on-one, withdraw to be alone or with close friends).

While the defining characteristic of introversion is a need for alone time in order to charge our batteries, introverts share a lot of other characteristics. They are often low to speak. They think things through. They're artistic and sensitive. They form close, deep friendships. They're terrible at small talk. And they don't do well in crowds.

Read on.