Irritants...

I went to church yesterday on a mission to join some sort of group and get plugged-in as they say. Now anyone who knows me, knows that I'm a chicken and that it's hard for me to put myself out there like that. I took a lot of courage, but at the end of the service, I walked up to the Information booth and asked about joining a small woman's group. Of course, after all that psyching up, I find out that the women's groups are ending and won't be starting up until September. SEPTEMBER?!

I said, "I know this is going to sound funny, but I don't know if I can wait until September. Is there anything else?" She asks me if I'm a new believer. Nope. Then she tells me that there is a class for people re-dedicating their lives to Christ... a Sure Foundation. That's great and all, but I don't want to be a part of a class. I want to be a part of a small group Bible study where we are engaging each other and where I will be more comfortable meeting and getting to know people. I know myself--if I go to a class, I will end up sitting there until it's over and then getting up and going home. I'm not the type to stay after and ask questions and stuff. Therefore, a class is not the ideal setting for me to make connections with other people... unless by some fluke someone approaches me, which almost never happens.

Needless to say, I left a little disappointed. I did grab the information on the class and I will try my best to go... That will be another thing that I will have to psych myself up for...

In other retarded news, I have a doctor's appointment this Wednesday...

[WARNING: If you are the type that doesn't like to read about women's girlie issues, than don't bother reading on.]

A couple of weeks ago, after it had already been a week since my period ended, I was having really bad cramping in my abdomen and then discovered I was spotting. Now this wasn't normal spotting... this was straight up blood. Like I-cut-myself-and-now-I'm-bleeding blood. So, I made an appointment to see the doctor, and then for about a week afterward I continued to have the cramping, but no more spotting.

Now I'm worried. For one because who know what's going on down there... it could be anything from ovarian cysts to straight up cancer. Eek! The other major reason I'm worried is because I don't want to end up being told that they have to do a pelvic exam. Being a virgin, I made the personal choice not to see an Ob-gyn until after I'm married and have done "the deed." People tell me I'm stupid because you never know, but it's my body and I don't want anyone messing around down there until my husband has... plus, literally, no one has messed around there at all yet, so I don't believe that I am at risk for STDs at the very least.

So, when I go I am going to insist that they do everything but a pelvic exam. I know there are other ways of checking me out, but I also know Kaiser. A pelvic exam costs nothing when you compare it to an ultrasound or something like that. Nevertheless, I am going to insist on the most non-invasive procedure possible. I'm bringing my mother with me, and although she doesn't necessarily agree with me not seeing an Ob-gyn until I lose my virginity, I know she'll back me up.

I just hope this is as uncomfortable as possible. Pray for me people. This could be nothing, but then it could be something too...