Just another face in the crowd...

I've been trying to regularly go to the Young Adult Bible Study at church for 18- to 35-year-olds. It's really cool and I like the leader (I think his name is Mike). I like that I'm around other people my age and we are learning together.

I have to admit something though: I've been secretly hoping that I would be approached by someone--anyone--while I'm there. I keep thinking, "maybe someone will notice me and want to come up and get to know me." Alas, that never happens. The most interaction I get while there is the greeting we give each other before we start.

I try to be as friendly as I can be. I even try to smile more and to seem more approachable, but it's not working. I know the answer is that I need to do the approaching, but, honestly, I'm TERRIFIED. Really. I am not good at being sociable and outgoing. It just sucks because right now, more than almost anything, I just want to make friends with believers my own age, but it seems to not be happening. Ugh!

This fact was really driven home for me this weekend as I hung out with some old friends. Everything was good overall, but as usual, I caught some heat about my beliefs and was even mocked. I guess I'm used to it, so it doesn't really hurt my feelings (even though you never see me mocking them or criticizing their lifestyles), and I know that these people are lost and don't know what they are talking about, but it really just makes me feel like I only want to be around young people who have the same beliefs and mindset. It's like I can only relate to my sisters who are believers because pretty much all of my young friends have no clue.

Lord, PLEASE put people into my life who love You or give me the courage to actively seek them out. I'm scared. Scared of being alone in this world and of having to put myself out there. Help me...