Recovering...

I'm trying to recover from the shock of what my sister did to me. I'm still flabbergasted about it. I've been sick to my stomach since yesterday. I hate this kind of drama because I just can't get it off of my mind. I wish I was the kind of person to just turn off and not let stuff affect me, but I'm not. I cannot help but let something like this get to me. Especially when it's coming from family.

I've decided not to confront her about it until after the Baby Shower because I just don't want the tension, stress, or drama. I'm already stressed enough about the shower. Actually, I'm seriously re-thinking whether I should even bring it up because I know that I'm just going to end up the bad guy as always, and I'm so sick of that. It is clear that I am no way in the wrong here, but somehow it will get turned around on me. It always does. I'm just sick of fighting these battles that I will never win. I have already been stereo-typed as the overdramatic one with the victim syndrome. That is so not the case, but there is no convincing my family of that.

Grr! I am so tired of the constant strife! This is why I am trying to get away, but no matter how far away I get, the family drama still follows. What am I supposed to do? Cut them off completely? The sad part is that the idea of cutting them out completely doesn't even hurt my feelings anymore. If anything, it brings a sense of relief.

The other thing bothering me immensely is that my I'm-sure-soon-to-be-ex-friend has the capability of believing that I would say awful things about her behind her back. That just makes me feel like she has never trusted me. Why even be my friend if you don't trust me? I have trusted that she has had my back and wasn't saying anything bad about me behind my back this entire time. I guess that's my problem: I trust people until they give me a reason not to. The funny thing is, I didn't realize that was a problem. I thought that was what made me a good person...