Lightening things up...

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

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FOOT IN MOUTH...UP TO THE KNEE! Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" (Turns out, the witness was Blonde and didn't pick him!)

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

-On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
-On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
-On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
-On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)
-On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
-On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
-On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
-On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
-On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
-On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
-On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
-On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.) (HAHAHA!)
-On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."