Creating Narcissists.... bad idea

A long time ago, if you were part of a baseball league, you worked your butt off to be that team who won the trophy at the end. If you weren’t that team, you didn’t get a runner-up trophy; you got a handshake and a “better luck next time.” You brushed yourself off and tried harder the next year.

Nowadays, no matter if you win or lose, make a couple homeruns or never even catch a ball, you get some sort of recognition and prize. The “Fairness Police” have made sure that no one walks away empty-handed and at risk of low self-esteem. Because everyone has a RIGHT to feel like a winner, right?

No. That’s not how life works.

I know so many people who pretty much tell their kids that they are the greatest thing that ever happened to this earth. The kid could be a whiney, selfish brat. The kid could be lazy and not contribute to anything. The kid could up and quit something that Mom and Dad had to shell out a lot of money for. Nevertheless, that kid is told that he/she is absolutely amazing at everything.

Get real, people.

Now I’m not saying that you should bash your kids when they mess up or don’t do something perfectly. Of course not. Constant criticism is just as bad, but that doesn’t mean its okay to lie to your kids and tell them that everything they do is wonderful, amazing, spectacular, perfect, etc. It’s not realistic. You are only setting them up for a big slap in the face as adults because when they mess up on a job or don’t give their best, their bosses aren’t going to give them a high-five and defend them to the world. The world isn’t going to agree that they are perfect. The world is going to hold up a mirror and show them just how flawed they really are.

Plain and simple, we are turning our kids into NARCISSISTS.

Narcissism. It’s not a good thing. If you are a Christian, you know it runs against everything we are taught. It’s vanity, self-absorption, conceit, egotism, selfishness. It’s also the character trait commonly possessed by serial murders.

Does that mean that every narcissistic child is going to grow up to be a serial murderer? No.

But it does mean that they are going to grow up to be narcissistic adults. That same person that almost causes an accident and then turns around and flips YOU off like it was your fault. That same person that says they are your friend, but constantly flakes on you and acts like there is nothing wrong with that. The person who monopolizes every conversation because they think the world revolves around them. The person who takes advantage of everyone around them. The person who never takes responsibility for anything they do because nothing they do is wrong and it’s everyone else’s fault anyway. Etc., etc., etc.

That person might not be a murderer, but he/she is still someone that no one wants to have around….

I for one want my kids to grow up to be selfLESS, servants of others. Humble, patient and kind. They are only that way when we discipline them; teach them to respect God, us, others and themselves; and encourage them to never give up when they do fail and learn from their mistakes.

Something’s gotta give, or we will have more kids that grow up to be like Joran van der Sloot in this world. That’s pretty darn scary!