Mind my business...

We live in a society that values privacy.  I agree with that, to a certain degree.  As a Christian though, I think the more of my business my brothers and sisters know the better for me (within appropriate boundaries, of course).  It's called accountability. 

Before this last relationship, all I knew was dating in the world.  Dating in the world usually means little to no accountability.  We meet total strangers and try to get to know them based mostly on how they present themselves to us.  You may or may not get to meet their friends and family. Hopefully, they are genuine, but most of the time they are initially only putting their best foot forward and you have to take a chance that they are who they say they are.  If there is something sketchy about them, 9 times out of 10 the people they know aren't going to warn you about it for fear of appearing to meddle or be disloyal.

In the church it's a very different and I would say a lot better for everyone involved.  First off, you know you are dealing with people who love Jesus, for the most part (there are always those wolves in sheep's clothing, but they inevitably show their true colors or people warn you to be careful).  If you get involved at church you get to know people and they can usually vouch for your character to the other person and vice versa.  People usually do things in groups, so there's safety in numbers.  Everyone is looking out for you.

Even though it was hard to adjust to having so many people involved in my life, I definitely like and appreciate this system a lot better than the world's system.  It's for my benefit.  It's for everyone's benefit. 

However good the system though, it's flawed because it still involves imperfect human beings.

I recently found out that there were people who were worried about my relationship before we broke up.  They discussed it amongst themselves.  They talked about how we needed help.  Problem is they never talked about it with us.  They never confronted us with it.  They could have helped, or maybe not, but they didn't even try.

I don't necessarily think these people were intentionally gossiping because I believe there was genuine concern for us, but they didn't love us enough to correct us or come alongside us and point us in the right direction.  They did the worldly thing and stayed out of it.  They kind of let us down.

Before you think I'm mad, I'm not. I love my brothers and sisters and I know they love me.  I don't think they realized it would get to the point that it did.  I'm sure they figured we would get through it and grow.  I can't be mad at them because I don't know if I would have intervened either if I was in their shoes.  I fail too.  

So lesson learned I guess.  For them and for me... When you see someone heading in the wrong direction, tell them!  Don't talk to others about it and then stand back and hope the person gets help.  That's like watching a boat head straight for an iceberg and instead of warning the captain, you just stand back and say to the person next to you, "What a shame. Hope they notice before it's too late." 

There is no love in minding our business.  

2 Timothy 4:2

Preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, and exhort, with complete patience and teaching.

1 Thessalonians 5:14

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.