Dear Blog: I've been busy. My bad...

I'm so sorry, my little blog. I have neglected you so much. You probably think I'm self-centered and selfish.... and you would be right. lol. I've been busy too, but mostly it's because I've been living life instead of hypothesizing about living life or pretending to live life. Well, now I'm here to tell you about that....

=)

(I make myself laugh sometimes. Does that make me a loser? It sure does make me a dork. lol)

Anyway, I have been dating a lot. Nothing major has come of it, but I am definitely enjoying having attention and feeling desirable for truly the first time in my life. The only downside is that now I have all these options and I'm beginning to realize that I really don't know what I want anymore. I thought I did, but now I'm not so sure.

I do know that whomever I end up will need to be my friend first. I've been encountering a lot of guys that want to immediately jump into a relationship and (as they say) "wife me up." It kinda freaks me out. I need to get to know you past three or four days, or even a couple of weeks, before I start CONSIDERING getting serious with you. Is that crazy? I don't think so...

Again, though, it is SO awesome having options and choices. It sure boosts the ego and puts a kick in your step, which seems to then attract more people to you. It's like a snowball effect.... a snowball effect of awesomeness! =)

I'm finally adjusted at work. I've made some boo-boos here and there, but I think I have the hang of it. The only thing I'm constantly confused about is whether or not these people even like me. The other secretary is touch and go. Some days she's nice to me and encouraging and other days I feel like I'm getting on her nerves or she thinks I'm just stupid. Who knows! I definitely miss my old team of Christian ladies. I never had to wonder if they secretly didn't like me. Oh well... It couldn't last forever.

I'm really trying to get out more and expand my horizons. I'm trying to make new friends and hang out with people I can relate to: Single People. I have so many friends (including my closest friend) who are married, about to be married, and/or have kids. I love these people and appreciate being a part of their families and having their children in my life, but I really can't relate to them. I have an idea of what they are going through and they have an idea of what I'm going through, but at the end of the day we are not going through the same things and don't completely understand each other. I need people who understand.

I keep jumping back and forth between ideas for what I want to do in the next year when my debt is paid off. Buy a car? Move back to Pomona/the I.E.? Buy a car???? Move back???? Some days it's one and other days its the other. If I move, I can go back to my church where I feel I belong. If I stay I'll be able to more easily save money AND get a new car with better gas mileage. Both seem like good options to me, but I don't know which to go with. I guess church and moving back do sort of edge out the new car thing, but it all depends on if/when my cousin can move out with me, because I really don't want to pay rent alone. We'll see what happens....

Well, there is more, but that's all I have time for now, little blog. I'll really try to be back again soon. Take care of yourself....