God is my lifeline...

A couple days ago we found out that the step father of a long-time friend of my sisters and I committed suicide. I don't know the details yet, but I do know this: He has two young daughters under the age of 14 who he abandoned and gave up on.

For that I am angry and resentful, and I'm not those two girls.

When my friend was young her dad abandoned her and her little brother (not by suicide, but by walking out on them and being almost completely absent). Their mother is already a little unstable, so when their dad left, she sort of lost it. They grew up to have some issues as a result, but luckily have turned out ok.

Well, now, in a way, history has repeated itself. My friends mom remarried some time after the first marriage ended and ended up having two babies with her current husband. They are now two young children (about the same ages as my friend and her brother were when their dad left) who's father has given up on them and exited their lives. This time, though, it's in the worst way someone can abandon you.

Suicide is nothing but pure selfishness. You get to leave the difficult, unbearable situation and leave everyone else behind you to deal with the aftermath. From the little I know, this guy had financial issues and has threatened suicide in the past with the idea that his family would be taken care of through insurance money.

I'm sorry!! I would rather have my father and be dirt poor, than lose him, but still have a huge house and all the trappings of life. Not a good trade-off.

Anyway, these are the times that I'm reminded just how important it is to have a relationship with Jesus Christ. It is through him that we have access to God himself. In our sin we are completely cutoff from God. Our sin is just like the veil in the Holy of Holies--it separates us from direct access to God. Jesus, in his death, tore that veil and when we believe in him and claim him for who he is--the Son of God and the only Way to God (John 14:16)--he removes that barrier and we have a direct line to the Big Man himself.

I used to struggle with the sin of Depression and there were times where I no longer wanted to live, but because of my direct line to God through the Holy Spirit, there was always that inner voice/movement that kept me from ever considering taking my own life. Even when you are a believer who is not walking with the Lord, like I wasn't, you still have even the tiniest little thread connecting you to God in the Holy Spirit that is always there... even when you are trying to ignore him. =)

When you don't have a relationship with Jesus, you do not have that line to God. He does not intervene. He doesn't tap into the Holy Spirit within you because there is no Holy Spirit within you. You have no connection to the source of life and therefore living is not important to you.

(Does this mean that every person who committs suicide doesn't have a relationship with Christ? No, but I do believe that it's a big indication that a person probably doesn't or has allowed the Devil to convince them with his lies.)

I hope that before this man died he was able to reconcile himself to the Lord. We won't know in this world.

In the meantime, my prayers and thoughts go out to these two little girls specifically. The odds are now stacked even higher against them. This world takes fatherless girls and boys and eats them alive....


Lord, please reach your might hands down and envelope these little girls with your love and peace. Help them to forgive their father for failing them. Give them the peace that only you can bring. Use this situation, as horrible as it is, to open up a door and pathway to you, Lord. In everything we rejoice because all works together for good and Your purpose. Thank you, Jesus! Amen!