Anatomy of a dream…

People who know me, especially my family members, know that I have a knack for very vivid and sometimes telling dreams. I truly believe that the Lord uses dreams to speak to me and sometimes through me. It’s kinda freaky sometimes.

I generally have 3 kinds of dreams:
· Regular Dreams – Dreams that we all have about random stuff that is usually made up of a mixture of what’s going in my life, stuff I’ve seen on TV, scary stuff I’ve read about or seen, issues with people in my life, etc.
· Fantasy Dreams -- Dreams that consist of my deep down hopes and dreams and things I really want (e.g. getting married, being pregnant). I’m not talking about sexual fantasies, okay! You dirty people… lol.
· Spiritual/Telling Dreams – Dreams where I’m being communicated with, usually by what I’m sure is God.

The first 2 types of dreams are dreams that come out of my subconscious and sometimes even my conscious. The ones from my subconscious and conscious are ones that I can usually attribute to something that’s going on in my life at the moment. They are usually easily interpreted.

The third type of dream is different. I truly believe it’s something I have no control over. Whether it’s a dead family member or the Devil himself, it’s usually someone from outside of myself seeming to try to communicate with me or, in the case of the Devil, test me. Sometimes, I believe it is God just sending me little messages.

Well, the other day I had a dream that struck me, but I don’t really know what category to put it under. On the surface, it could totally be seen as a Fantasy Dream, but I’m not sure that it is. In a way I get the sense that it could be Spiritual/Telling Dream. I have no idea for sure though.

This is what happened:

I dreamt that Henry lived down the street from my mom’s house, and I decided that I was going to give this friendship one last try and go knock on his door. As I walk up the driveway I’m a little apprehensive and almost hope that he doesn’t answer the door. I knock anyway and sure enough he answers. He has this look on his face as if to say, “What the heck are you doing here?”

For a split second I wish I never bothered, but nevertheless in the most cheery way possible I say, “Hey, I just wanted to say hi and see how you were doing. I haven’t seen you in a while”

He doesn’t say anything at first, but has this bewildered look on his face and I notice that he has his Bible in his right hand, his finger holding his place. Then he tells me that he was just praying about me. I can’t remember what else he says specifically, but basically he tells me that he was praying and asking God to let him know if he should give me another chance to be a part of his life. He then tells me that he asked God to give him a sign on whether he should reach out to me. Right then I knocked on the door.

Then he opens up his Bible where his finger is holding the place and shows me a scripture. I can’t remember what scripture it was (or even if it was a real scripture in real life), but it said something like, “If you ask me, I will show you what you are asking me for,” or something similar to that. We just look at each other and I think he says something like, "isn't that crazy."

Then the dream ended and moved onto something else.

So weird! I woke up weirded out. I thought, “Okay is this just one of those wishful thinking-type dreams (as in a Fantasy Dream)?”

I don’t know that it is. Usually when I have a Fantasy Dream, I wake up all euphoric and feeling good because it’s usually about something I would love to have happen in real life and you wake up with those residual feelings if happiness from the dream, but that wasn’t the case with this one. I woke up totally flabbergasted. It, as they always do, felt so real. I could feel how freaked out Henry was in the dream and it freaked me out.

Then again, I really don’t know if it’s just a Fantasy Dream mixed with a General Dream because of the fact that, 1) yes, I would love for Henry to come to his senses and realize that he walked away from a good thing (Fantasy) AND 2) a few godly women in my life have told me that they feel like the door is not closed on this whole thing with Henry (General). These two factors could have influenced my subconscious and thus produced this dream.

But like I said earlier, I didn’t wake up feeling all “special.” I woke up feeling like this could possibly be the Lord trying to tell me something, but I’m not sure. Aaahhh! I don’t want to over-think this. I also don’t want to mistake a fantasy for a message from God. The most annoying part of the whole thing is that I was finally moving on and not thinking about Henry. It’s just been bothering me since I woke up that morning, so I can’t stop thinking about it and, as a result, him.

Either way, I’m trying to move on with my life and I am planning to get more involved in church and try to put myself out there in the hopes that when I am least paying attention and when I least expect it, the man the Lord has for me will come out of the woodwork. I guess, though, that if the Lord has it in His plans for me to be with Henry, it will happen… dream or no dream, plans or no plans.

Ay ay ay…. This really doesn’t need to be this deep, does it?