No quiero...

I don't want to...

... stay in this house much longer.  I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but.... I'm tired of doing 100 dishes daily that I didn't even dirty.  I'm tired of no air conditioning or heat.  I'm tired of someone using my makeup, shampoo, body spray, lotions, feminine products, etc.  What is no bueno is that I don't know how much longer the house-hunting thing is going to take.  Maybe until I do find something decent, I should start looking at apartments again.  I just need my own space.  *sigh*

... worry any more.   I know I worry too much and it's SINFUL.  Literally.  It shows a lack of full faith in the Lord.  I wish I didn't worry so much.  I wish "casting all my cares" on the Lord was as easy as taking the garbage out, dumping it, and walking away.  It's not. 

... be alone anymore.  Not even just romantically, but physically.  I'm ready for a partner with whom I can spend my free time and enjoy life.  The fact is, the older you get, the less people you find who are alone.  Everyone is paired up and they don't have time for those who aren't.  Me, myself, and I isn't cutting it anymore.

... wait, but I have to.  If I push things or try to make things happen myself, they will just get fouled up.  It happens EVERY time.   I have to leave things in God's hands and trust that he's working it out and knows things I don't know.  He can see the whole picture.

... feel sorry for myself, despite all of the above.  This life is not a waste, but it can feel like I'm wasting it sometimes. 

I gotta get myself out there.  Lord, put opportunities to serve you in front of me.  Help me to be grateful for the blessings I have.  Send me where you need me.  Do with me what you will...

UPDATE:

How convenient that this is today's scripture:

Psalm 143:10 - “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”