It's a new year. Let's make it a good one...

"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all..." Psalm 34:19


I've been missing in action, blog.  Sorry.  A lot has happened.   Actually, things took a turn only hours after my last blog post was published.  Long story, but the gist is that the special person in my life is no more. 

Things were awkward and very much up in the air.  I was confused and sad.  I finally asked him if something had changed.  No answer.  3 weeks later, still no answer.  

They say that sometimes no answer IS your answer, but I think part of me knew that I wouldn't get an aswer even though he is otherwise a good and honorable man.  Let's be real though, it doesn't matter what kind of man he is, a man is a man and all men are afraid of what they perceive as an emotional outburst waiting to happen.  Too bad he didn't give me the opportunity to show him that I could be understanding. 

*sigh*

Anyway, I was depressed and hurt for about a week and then I pulled myself together.  I'm much better now and moving on.  What helps is that I know I really tried to handle things in the best way possible with this man and I don't feel that I did anything wrong in this situation.  This is the first time I feel that it's more about his issues than my own.  Not that I'm blaming anyone, but this is the first time I've dated a man where I was not insecure or waiting for him to figure out that he was too good for me.  lol.  (That is hilarious when I go back and read it, but true.)   This was the first time that I felt like myself with a man and that we were a good match for each other.

So, yeah, I don't think it was about me this time....

Well, reflecting back on all this, I can see that the Lord is telling me to just keep waiting patiently on Him.  I also feel like He's showing me that He had me on a specific path, including purchasing my own home, and I let it get sidetracked because I was wrapped up in hoping that this man was the one. 

So now, I'm re-focusing my efforts on getting back on the plan that I was originally focusing on.  My love life is on the backburner and I'm kinda okay with that.  It exhausted me and I don't even want to bother with it right now, which is amusing since there are a few options out there.  Sorry guys.  lol.

I guess the take-away from all this is:
1. I need to trust in the Lord completely and focus on Him; He's all that matters.
2. Stick to the plan!
3. Despite what happened with this man, I've learned that I can be myself and someone will like me just the way I am. 
4. There are good men out there that Love the Lord, I just need to let Him bring me the right one.
5. Even when bad things like this happen, I can still look back and see all the amazing things too.  2011 was NOT a bust.  It was more amazing than sad.  I can rejoice in the Lord over it.  =)

Lord, please keep me focused on you.  You are everything and I am nothing.  Thank you for getting me through this hard time and for restoring my peace and joy so quickly.  Your power is made perfect in my weakness.  I love you, Lord.  Please bless this new year even more than you did the last.  In Jesus' name, amen!