The business of going bonkers while biding my time for something better...

Today has to be one of the most boring and unproductive days this year. I could so be doing this at home, but no. I have to make that “paper”, as they say… cash money, son. I will have a mortgage soon and that mortgage must be paid… ‘cause I sure don’t have a rich hubby or sugar daddy who’s going to pay it. Lol.

I just really don’t like not having anything to do. I always feel like my job isn’t up to par with my skill and efficiency levels. I should be at a much higher level than I am at the moment.

There’s just one problem: my face.

No, I don’t have a giant mole on the center of my nose. I know it’s not my teeth, or I’ve wasted 2 years of my life and $6,000 on Invisalign. I’m pretty sure I’m not hideous to look at. No, none of these things. What’s the problem? I have the face of a girl 8 years younger and therefore, in the minds of those with whom I have interviewed, I’m not ready for, nor can I handle, a higher level secretarial position.

REVERSE AGISM!!! I tell you!

It’s funny, but it’s not. I know people are like, “Really? You’re complaining that you look years younger than you are?” Well, now that I’m about to be a single, childless 30-year-old, heck no! I’m loving it.

I just don’t love people making assumptions about someone who LOOKS young, when all you have to do is look at my resume and performance evaluations (I’ve gotten Outstanding on my last 2 years of evals… thank you very much!).

*sigh*

I know at the end of the day, it’s God who is in control and maybe HE just doesn’t think I’m ready, but at the same time I can’t possibly believe that it’s His will that I sit around on my butt being completely unproductive. That’s no way to serve Him. Maybe I just need to take more initiative???? How? There is only so much filing someone can do…..

Somebody tell me how before I go cuckoo……