This post from Boundless really speaks to what I'm feeling right now. It's like there is a war going on inside. I--me, who I am in the Lord--genuinely WANTS to surrender all, but the flesh wants the opposite and my sinful nature is trying to convince me to just give it up all together because I'm such a hard time doing it to begin with. I've always been that way: If you can't do it right, don't do it at all. I don't WANT that though. I want to be obedient. Here is a bit of what the author has to say about this:
And so I have a hard time singing those words, because I know that a more honest version might go something like this: “I surrender … some.”
I think both Peter and Paul might have had similar experiences with this hymn, though for different reasons, had it been around for them to sing. Peter, of course, probably would have belted it out at the top of his voice. He was, after all, the disciple who proclaimed to Jesus on the eve of His crucifixion, “Even if all fall away on account of you, I never will” (Mt. 26:33). A few short verses later, Peter has abandoned his Lord, who’s been taken into the custody of the Jewish religious leaders. We read in v. 58, “But Peter followed him at a distance …” Shortly thereafter, three quick and vehement denials would follow. How well intended Peter’s loyalty was! How far short he fell!
And then there’s Paul. In Romans 7 we read his famous description of the war between the two natures. “So I find this law at work: When I want to do good, evil is right there with me. For in my inner being I delight in God’s law; but I see another law at work in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within my members. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God—through Jesus Christ our Lord!” (Romans 7:21-25).
I can relate to Paul’s words here. There’s a part of me that genuinely longs to walk with Jesus. And there’s another part of me that, like a stubborn prodigal, insists on doing things Sinatra-style: my way. And so I wander away. I’m reminded of Robert Robinson’s classic hymn “Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing,” which includes the lines, “Let Thy goodness, like a fetter/Bind my wandering heart to Thee/Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it/Prone to leave the God I love/Here’s my heart, O take and seal it/Seal it for Thy courts above.”
*sigh*
Lord, help me. Help me to die to myself. Help me lay down those things that are coming between You and I. Help me to lay down those things I have no business and not enough strength to carry myself. Help me to let go. Help me to be content in WHATEVER circumstance I am in. Help me to hide your Word and promises in my heart at all times. Help me only the way You can. In Jesus' name. Amen.
Showing posts with label God and religion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God and religion. Show all posts
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Monday, March 12, 2012
Bye bye, comfort zone...
I think this is the year of God setting me up to step outside of my comfort zone.
It started at work. We needed to hire a clerk and my boss asked if I would be okay with doing interviews. I said, "sure!" Inside, I was saying, "Oh crap! I've never done that before." So, my friend Wendy and I teamed up and started interviewing candidates. It was totally outside of my comfort zone, but I totally loved it! I think it actually helped bring me out of my shell even more than I already have too!
Before I even moved back to Pomona, I had already had the mindset that as soon as I got the condo I would try to get plugged into a church and start serving right away. Well, I thought I would have some time to psych myself up for the whole idea. Wrong. Out of nowhere I felt the Lord pushing me to go ahead and start attending the Vine at my church here, Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. The Vine is the 26- to 35-year-old ministry.
I finally forced myself to go and I run into someone I know. Then I find myself telling that person that I want to get involved and serve (Wait, what? Did that just come out of my mouth?). Next thing I know, this last Friday, I'm committing to help setup before Bible Study every Friday. Again, I just stepped outside of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Yay me!
Even worse... okay better... part of setting up also involves greeting people. Aaaaa! Now THAT'S outside my comfort zone. I'm no the type to approach people. I usually let others come to me. Yikes! That's definitely going to take some courage on my part. I'll need God's help on that one. =)
Yes, I'm definitely sure that this will be my year of stepping outside the comfort zone. I guess the Lord never runs out of things to teach us...
Lord, thank You. You never cease to amaze me. I'm also taking this as confirmation that you want me at my church... even if it's not in the same neighborhood as my future house. Thank You for my church and thank You for new opportunities and open doors, and distractions. ;)
It started at work. We needed to hire a clerk and my boss asked if I would be okay with doing interviews. I said, "sure!" Inside, I was saying, "Oh crap! I've never done that before." So, my friend Wendy and I teamed up and started interviewing candidates. It was totally outside of my comfort zone, but I totally loved it! I think it actually helped bring me out of my shell even more than I already have too!
Before I even moved back to Pomona, I had already had the mindset that as soon as I got the condo I would try to get plugged into a church and start serving right away. Well, I thought I would have some time to psych myself up for the whole idea. Wrong. Out of nowhere I felt the Lord pushing me to go ahead and start attending the Vine at my church here, Calvary Chapel Chino Valley. The Vine is the 26- to 35-year-old ministry.
I finally forced myself to go and I run into someone I know. Then I find myself telling that person that I want to get involved and serve (Wait, what? Did that just come out of my mouth?). Next thing I know, this last Friday, I'm committing to help setup before Bible Study every Friday. Again, I just stepped outside of my comfort zone and put myself out there.
Yay me!
Even worse... okay better... part of setting up also involves greeting people. Aaaaa! Now THAT'S outside my comfort zone. I'm no the type to approach people. I usually let others come to me. Yikes! That's definitely going to take some courage on my part. I'll need God's help on that one. =)
Yes, I'm definitely sure that this will be my year of stepping outside the comfort zone. I guess the Lord never runs out of things to teach us...
Lord, thank You. You never cease to amaze me. I'm also taking this as confirmation that you want me at my church... even if it's not in the same neighborhood as my future house. Thank You for my church and thank You for new opportunities and open doors, and distractions. ;)
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Answers...
I wish I could say that I always get answers to my questions, but this is reality. Sometimes we don't get to know. Then sometimes we get answers, but they aren't exactly the answers we wanted.
Today I got an answer. It wasn't something I would have wanted, but it was necessary...
Let me backtrack. As I mentioned in my first post of the year, things went in a not-so-good direction with the special person in my life. It's been about a month since we last communicated and I was doing well with not being upset and letting it get to me. I was trying to move on and focus on what matters... God's plan for my life.
I shared what was going on with people around me and started getting the same reaction from a few people: "He's going to realize the mistake he's made and come back." To me that sounded far-fetched, but then again, I believe in a God who can do things like that. So I guess I started allowing myself to hope because afterall, "hope comes from the Lord." There is nothing really wrong with hoping, but the problem is that for me to hope opens the door for me to become consumed with something that may not even happen.
On top of this smidgen of hope, I've also felt that the Lord is calling me to pray for this man. There have even been times where I tried to "forget" to pray for him and then the Lord sort of says, "hey... you forgot someone." I don't mind praying for my "friend," but it's hard to forget someone when you have to think of him at least once a day in prayer.
Anyway, all this to say that I've had a hard time letting go and moving on because this guy is in my thoughts, and even my dreams, all the time.
Well, this morning, I broke down and asked the Lord to help me move on. Whether or not this man will ever be a part of my life, right now, in this moment of my life, I need to forget him and move on. I cried out to God to help me to forget and move on, even if I'm still called to pray for him.
God was listening.
A few hours later, I'm at my desk and my friend (who happens to sit in the cubicle right next to him) texts me to see how I'm doing. I confess to her that I've had Mr. Man on my mind constantly and its been driving me crazy. She first started telling me that she doesn't like him anymore and that he was wrong for not being genuine with me after I laid out all my feelings. I knew she was going somewhere with this and asked her to tell me what's up. That's when she told me that he announced at work that he had gone on a date Saturday night.
Wham! How's that for a reason to move on and let go? lol.
It stung, but by God's grace it didn't devastate me. I told her that he has every right to date and that I was glad she told me. She, like a good friend, reinforced how disappointed in him she is. I appreciated it, but I told her that I still am not angry with him. (For the record, despite those baby hopes that someday God would fix everything and we would be together [which He could still do if He wanted to], I truly forgave him a while ago and have wanted at the very least to reconcile our friendship.)
I left it alone, but then something dawned on me at lunch. I had asked God this very morning to help me move on and through that text conversation with my dear friend, He answered my prayers. He is showing me that I do indeed need to move on.
So now not only have I had the clear and straighforward messages from God that I need to trust Him and wait on Him, but He has also made it clear that I need to move on and move forward.
I hear you, Lord. You are coming in loud and clear. I am listening. Please help me now to obey...
As for my friend, Lord, be with him. Keep Your hands on him and continue to bless him. Draw him close to You and fix his eyes upon You. Reveal your plan for him and show him that You are all that matters. Lord, convict his heart of those things that hinder his relationship with You. Refine both of us. Sift us Lord. Make us both better in you.
You know why this has happened the way it has and I trust that You will never do anything to harm me. Everything You allow to happen is for our good and Your glory. Thank you, Lord. "You give and take away... my heart will choose to say, 'Lord, Blessed be Your Name.'"
Today I got an answer. It wasn't something I would have wanted, but it was necessary...
Let me backtrack. As I mentioned in my first post of the year, things went in a not-so-good direction with the special person in my life. It's been about a month since we last communicated and I was doing well with not being upset and letting it get to me. I was trying to move on and focus on what matters... God's plan for my life.
I shared what was going on with people around me and started getting the same reaction from a few people: "He's going to realize the mistake he's made and come back." To me that sounded far-fetched, but then again, I believe in a God who can do things like that. So I guess I started allowing myself to hope because afterall, "hope comes from the Lord." There is nothing really wrong with hoping, but the problem is that for me to hope opens the door for me to become consumed with something that may not even happen.
On top of this smidgen of hope, I've also felt that the Lord is calling me to pray for this man. There have even been times where I tried to "forget" to pray for him and then the Lord sort of says, "hey... you forgot someone." I don't mind praying for my "friend," but it's hard to forget someone when you have to think of him at least once a day in prayer.
Anyway, all this to say that I've had a hard time letting go and moving on because this guy is in my thoughts, and even my dreams, all the time.
Well, this morning, I broke down and asked the Lord to help me move on. Whether or not this man will ever be a part of my life, right now, in this moment of my life, I need to forget him and move on. I cried out to God to help me to forget and move on, even if I'm still called to pray for him.
God was listening.
A few hours later, I'm at my desk and my friend (who happens to sit in the cubicle right next to him) texts me to see how I'm doing. I confess to her that I've had Mr. Man on my mind constantly and its been driving me crazy. She first started telling me that she doesn't like him anymore and that he was wrong for not being genuine with me after I laid out all my feelings. I knew she was going somewhere with this and asked her to tell me what's up. That's when she told me that he announced at work that he had gone on a date Saturday night.
Wham! How's that for a reason to move on and let go? lol.
It stung, but by God's grace it didn't devastate me. I told her that he has every right to date and that I was glad she told me. She, like a good friend, reinforced how disappointed in him she is. I appreciated it, but I told her that I still am not angry with him. (For the record, despite those baby hopes that someday God would fix everything and we would be together [which He could still do if He wanted to], I truly forgave him a while ago and have wanted at the very least to reconcile our friendship.)
I left it alone, but then something dawned on me at lunch. I had asked God this very morning to help me move on and through that text conversation with my dear friend, He answered my prayers. He is showing me that I do indeed need to move on.
So now not only have I had the clear and straighforward messages from God that I need to trust Him and wait on Him, but He has also made it clear that I need to move on and move forward.
I hear you, Lord. You are coming in loud and clear. I am listening. Please help me now to obey...
As for my friend, Lord, be with him. Keep Your hands on him and continue to bless him. Draw him close to You and fix his eyes upon You. Reveal your plan for him and show him that You are all that matters. Lord, convict his heart of those things that hinder his relationship with You. Refine both of us. Sift us Lord. Make us both better in you.
You know why this has happened the way it has and I trust that You will never do anything to harm me. Everything You allow to happen is for our good and Your glory. Thank you, Lord. "You give and take away... my heart will choose to say, 'Lord, Blessed be Your Name.'"
Sunday, January 15, 2012
It's a new year. Let's make it a good one...
"A righteous man may have many troubles, but the LORD delivers him from them all..." Psalm 34:19
I've been missing in action, blog. Sorry. A lot has happened. Actually, things took a turn only hours after my last blog post was published. Long story, but the gist is that the special person in my life is no more.
Things were awkward and very much up in the air. I was confused and sad. I finally asked him if something had changed. No answer. 3 weeks later, still no answer.
They say that sometimes no answer IS your answer, but I think part of me knew that I wouldn't get an aswer even though he is otherwise a good and honorable man. Let's be real though, it doesn't matter what kind of man he is, a man is a man and all men are afraid of what they perceive as an emotional outburst waiting to happen. Too bad he didn't give me the opportunity to show him that I could be understanding.
*sigh*
Anyway, I was depressed and hurt for about a week and then I pulled myself together. I'm much better now and moving on. What helps is that I know I really tried to handle things in the best way possible with this man and I don't feel that I did anything wrong in this situation. This is the first time I feel that it's more about his issues than my own. Not that I'm blaming anyone, but this is the first time I've dated a man where I was not insecure or waiting for him to figure out that he was too good for me. lol. (That is hilarious when I go back and read it, but true.) This was the first time that I felt like myself with a man and that we were a good match for each other.
So, yeah, I don't think it was about me this time....
Well, reflecting back on all this, I can see that the Lord is telling me to just keep waiting patiently on Him. I also feel like He's showing me that He had me on a specific path, including purchasing my own home, and I let it get sidetracked because I was wrapped up in hoping that this man was the one.
So now, I'm re-focusing my efforts on getting back on the plan that I was originally focusing on. My love life is on the backburner and I'm kinda okay with that. It exhausted me and I don't even want to bother with it right now, which is amusing since there are a few options out there. Sorry guys. lol.
I guess the take-away from all this is:
1. I need to trust in the Lord completely and focus on Him; He's all that matters.
2. Stick to the plan!
3. Despite what happened with this man, I've learned that I can be myself and someone will like me just the way I am.
4. There are good men out there that Love the Lord, I just need to let Him bring me the right one.
5. Even when bad things like this happen, I can still look back and see all the amazing things too. 2011 was NOT a bust. It was more amazing than sad. I can rejoice in the Lord over it. =)
Lord, please keep me focused on you. You are everything and I am nothing. Thank you for getting me through this hard time and for restoring my peace and joy so quickly. Your power is made perfect in my weakness. I love you, Lord. Please bless this new year even more than you did the last. In Jesus' name, amen!
I've been missing in action, blog. Sorry. A lot has happened. Actually, things took a turn only hours after my last blog post was published. Long story, but the gist is that the special person in my life is no more.
Things were awkward and very much up in the air. I was confused and sad. I finally asked him if something had changed. No answer. 3 weeks later, still no answer.
They say that sometimes no answer IS your answer, but I think part of me knew that I wouldn't get an aswer even though he is otherwise a good and honorable man. Let's be real though, it doesn't matter what kind of man he is, a man is a man and all men are afraid of what they perceive as an emotional outburst waiting to happen. Too bad he didn't give me the opportunity to show him that I could be understanding.
*sigh*
Anyway, I was depressed and hurt for about a week and then I pulled myself together. I'm much better now and moving on. What helps is that I know I really tried to handle things in the best way possible with this man and I don't feel that I did anything wrong in this situation. This is the first time I feel that it's more about his issues than my own. Not that I'm blaming anyone, but this is the first time I've dated a man where I was not insecure or waiting for him to figure out that he was too good for me. lol. (That is hilarious when I go back and read it, but true.) This was the first time that I felt like myself with a man and that we were a good match for each other.
So, yeah, I don't think it was about me this time....
Well, reflecting back on all this, I can see that the Lord is telling me to just keep waiting patiently on Him. I also feel like He's showing me that He had me on a specific path, including purchasing my own home, and I let it get sidetracked because I was wrapped up in hoping that this man was the one.
So now, I'm re-focusing my efforts on getting back on the plan that I was originally focusing on. My love life is on the backburner and I'm kinda okay with that. It exhausted me and I don't even want to bother with it right now, which is amusing since there are a few options out there. Sorry guys. lol.
I guess the take-away from all this is:
1. I need to trust in the Lord completely and focus on Him; He's all that matters.
2. Stick to the plan!
3. Despite what happened with this man, I've learned that I can be myself and someone will like me just the way I am.
4. There are good men out there that Love the Lord, I just need to let Him bring me the right one.
5. Even when bad things like this happen, I can still look back and see all the amazing things too. 2011 was NOT a bust. It was more amazing than sad. I can rejoice in the Lord over it. =)
Lord, please keep me focused on you. You are everything and I am nothing. Thank you for getting me through this hard time and for restoring my peace and joy so quickly. Your power is made perfect in my weakness. I love you, Lord. Please bless this new year even more than you did the last. In Jesus' name, amen!
Monday, December 19, 2011
I’m going back to the start…
Why does Coldplay have perfect lyrics for every situation? Just saying… =)
Anyway, at the beginning of this last summer I was riding high. I had already lost a good amount of weight and was feeling a lot better about myself. I turned 30 and was enjoying my new body, still-young looks (yes, I did just write that… lol), and most of all my singleness. I even had made a commitment to God and myself that I would not be making any romantic commitments to anyone for 6 months. I was dating and having a good time… especially in July when I was lavished with all kinds of birthday fun and attention.
Then mister man comes along and changes the game. I though, “man, what they say is really true… it comes when you aren’t looking for it.”
Yeah…
What came was a distraction—from God and from life. I had all these plans, including getting a house, which were sidetracked (although not directly due to him). I did get this amazing job, however, which really was a blessing, but I lost my focus.
Now that things are up in the air with this dude, I’m getting a chance to look back and I’m like "wait a minute!” I was on an awesome adventure and it has been interrupted by someone who was trying to make it look like he wanted in on it too, but now he seems to be doing his own thing. It’s time to get back on my safari jeep like Indian Jones and keep this adventure going. He and other distractions need to be returned to the back seat where they belong and God needs to be put back in the driver’s seat where He belongs.
So…. Mister man has been relegated to just “an option” among a few options for now and I’m focusing on getting back on the trail I set out on. I’m doing my best to focus on serving the Lord with my life and my actions, dating/getting to know other people, and on moving forward with my future. I’m looking forward to moving out to my own apartment next month and starting fresh… a new, independent, attractive, self-reliant, secure woman who is relying on God to work things out.
I’m going back to where I started and staying on the trail…
Psalm 37:3-5, 7, 34
Trust in the Lord and do good; seek your happiness in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the Lord; trust in him, and he will help you; Be patient and wait for the Lord to act; don’t be worried about those who succeed in their evil plans. Put your hope in the Lord and obey his commands.
Anyway, at the beginning of this last summer I was riding high. I had already lost a good amount of weight and was feeling a lot better about myself. I turned 30 and was enjoying my new body, still-young looks (yes, I did just write that… lol), and most of all my singleness. I even had made a commitment to God and myself that I would not be making any romantic commitments to anyone for 6 months. I was dating and having a good time… especially in July when I was lavished with all kinds of birthday fun and attention.
Then mister man comes along and changes the game. I though, “man, what they say is really true… it comes when you aren’t looking for it.”
Yeah…
What came was a distraction—from God and from life. I had all these plans, including getting a house, which were sidetracked (although not directly due to him). I did get this amazing job, however, which really was a blessing, but I lost my focus.
Now that things are up in the air with this dude, I’m getting a chance to look back and I’m like "wait a minute!” I was on an awesome adventure and it has been interrupted by someone who was trying to make it look like he wanted in on it too, but now he seems to be doing his own thing. It’s time to get back on my safari jeep like Indian Jones and keep this adventure going. He and other distractions need to be returned to the back seat where they belong and God needs to be put back in the driver’s seat where He belongs.
So…. Mister man has been relegated to just “an option” among a few options for now and I’m focusing on getting back on the trail I set out on. I’m doing my best to focus on serving the Lord with my life and my actions, dating/getting to know other people, and on moving forward with my future. I’m looking forward to moving out to my own apartment next month and starting fresh… a new, independent, attractive, self-reliant, secure woman who is relying on God to work things out.
I’m going back to where I started and staying on the trail…
Psalm 37:3-5, 7, 34
Trust in the Lord and do good; seek your happiness in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desire. Give yourself to the Lord; trust in him, and he will help you; Be patient and wait for the Lord to act; don’t be worried about those who succeed in their evil plans. Put your hope in the Lord and obey his commands.
Thursday, December 8, 2011
He can do all things...
“Then Job replied to the Lord, ‘I know that you can do all things; no plan of yours can be thwarted.’” Job 42:1-2
Amen!
Sometimes I find myself in and out of trust in the Lord. One minute I’m secure in the truth that God is working things out for my good… no matter what! Then other times, I’m in panic mode thinking that things are spiraling out of control and even God isn’t able to set things right. Total nonsense, I know. I think it’s human though. Even the Apostle Paul said that the “spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41), meaning our spirit wants to do what’s right (in this case, trusting completely in the Lord), but our flesh falls prey to weakness and sin (in this case, not trusting the Lord with our whole heart).
What we have to do is work on KNOWING that God CAN do all things and that His plans can NOT be hindered or obstructed.
That goes along with seeking his will and plan. It’s a must. There is no if, ands, or buts about it. We MUST seek His will and trust in His plan because it will be carried out whether we are on-board or not.
Thank you, Lord. Keep this reminder daily in my mind and heart. Don't let me forget it! Amen!
Amen!
Sometimes I find myself in and out of trust in the Lord. One minute I’m secure in the truth that God is working things out for my good… no matter what! Then other times, I’m in panic mode thinking that things are spiraling out of control and even God isn’t able to set things right. Total nonsense, I know. I think it’s human though. Even the Apostle Paul said that the “spirit is willing, but the body is weak” (Matthew 26:41), meaning our spirit wants to do what’s right (in this case, trusting completely in the Lord), but our flesh falls prey to weakness and sin (in this case, not trusting the Lord with our whole heart).
What we have to do is work on KNOWING that God CAN do all things and that His plans can NOT be hindered or obstructed.
That goes along with seeking his will and plan. It’s a must. There is no if, ands, or buts about it. We MUST seek His will and trust in His plan because it will be carried out whether we are on-board or not.
Thank you, Lord. Keep this reminder daily in my mind and heart. Don't let me forget it! Amen!
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
A glimpse of hell...
My sister let me borrow a book she recently purchased called “23 Minutes in Hell” by Bill Wiese. It is the account of his 23-minute trip to Hell. I think it’s a must-read for everyone. Reading it, you get the sense that this man is telling the truth and he has scripture to back it up.
Check out this video:
There was one thing in his account that really stuck out to me. At one point he is in a cavern full of creatures of all types that hate him and want to harm him. He specifically states that this includes giant spiders, around 3 feet tall.
Everyone knows that I am deathly afraid of spiders—no seriously—but that’s not why it stood out to me.
Years ago, when I was not walking with the Lord (in fact I now know that I really never KNEW the Lord intimately until a few years ago), I had a wake-up-call kind of dream from the Lord. For some reason the Lord loves to speak to me through dreams actually. But anyway…
In the dream, something was happening in the world and my Dad (who was also not living a right life before God) and I walk out of my house and see the world is dark and there is chaos around us. It’s like it’s the end of the world. We both look at each other and, without speaking a word, we both know that Jesus came and we where not taken. Then I looked up in the sky and saw seven stars. The stars move into a circle. Then I look away and see the sky raining fire and giant spiders surrounding us. Yes, spiders just as described in this man’s book.
Not long after that dream I read about the seven stars in the first book of Revelation. So that explained a lot, but I always remembered the spiders. In my mind they were probably there as a manifestation of something I truly fear. Especially since it seemed full of other things I feared, including (at that time) being left behind.
Then last night I read of these spiders and wham! The dream comes to my mind.
Now I know God was giving me a glimpse… a glimpse of things to come and what I could have faced if I did not come to Him. It literally brings me to tears.
God is real. Hell is real. We don’t have much time. Now is the time to share the Good News, because eventually it will be too late. I don’t want anyone I know to go to Hell…. ESPECIALLY after reading this man’s account. Hell was not meant for us humans and it hurts the Lord beyond description to see any of us lost to that horrible place.
My prayers of salvation for those around me are taking a whole new light now.
If you want more information on this book and its author, go to http://www.soulchoiceministries.org/.
Check out this video:
There was one thing in his account that really stuck out to me. At one point he is in a cavern full of creatures of all types that hate him and want to harm him. He specifically states that this includes giant spiders, around 3 feet tall.
Everyone knows that I am deathly afraid of spiders—no seriously—but that’s not why it stood out to me.
Years ago, when I was not walking with the Lord (in fact I now know that I really never KNEW the Lord intimately until a few years ago), I had a wake-up-call kind of dream from the Lord. For some reason the Lord loves to speak to me through dreams actually. But anyway…
In the dream, something was happening in the world and my Dad (who was also not living a right life before God) and I walk out of my house and see the world is dark and there is chaos around us. It’s like it’s the end of the world. We both look at each other and, without speaking a word, we both know that Jesus came and we where not taken. Then I looked up in the sky and saw seven stars. The stars move into a circle. Then I look away and see the sky raining fire and giant spiders surrounding us. Yes, spiders just as described in this man’s book.
Not long after that dream I read about the seven stars in the first book of Revelation. So that explained a lot, but I always remembered the spiders. In my mind they were probably there as a manifestation of something I truly fear. Especially since it seemed full of other things I feared, including (at that time) being left behind.
Then last night I read of these spiders and wham! The dream comes to my mind.
Now I know God was giving me a glimpse… a glimpse of things to come and what I could have faced if I did not come to Him. It literally brings me to tears.
God is real. Hell is real. We don’t have much time. Now is the time to share the Good News, because eventually it will be too late. I don’t want anyone I know to go to Hell…. ESPECIALLY after reading this man’s account. Hell was not meant for us humans and it hurts the Lord beyond description to see any of us lost to that horrible place.
My prayers of salvation for those around me are taking a whole new light now.
If you want more information on this book and its author, go to http://www.soulchoiceministries.org/.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Stick to the plan!
“God’s Plan for You”
What does that mean? People tell you that God has a plan for your life. I’ve told people the same. The Bible talks about God’s plan and purpose. It’s a real thing. It exists, but I don’t think we really think about how important it is and how imperative it is that we stay inside of that plan.
Last night the Lord showed me a picture of what His plan looks like.
I envisioned a table full of guests. Each one of us is a guest at God’s table. We all are invited to eat and partake, BUT only from the menu that he has pre-selected for us. (Literally picture a menu laid out in front of you with your name at the top: “Kristina’s Menu. By God.”)
Your menu has food that God knows will taste the best on your tongue, smell the best to your nose, look the best to your eyes, and most importantly nourish your body in the best way for it. Nothing on that menu is bad for you. It’s all stuff that He knows you will enjoy… better than you even know for yourself.
That menu is tailor-made for you by the most perfect and high being in existence. You look happily at your menu, excited to taste and see what’s in store. Why would you want anything other than that menu?
Yet, you can’t help it. You put your menu down and start trying to get a peek at the menu belonging to the person next to you.
“What a minute. Why does she get cheesecake?” Even though you know you are lactose intolerant! lol.
You start to want what’s on your neighbor’s menu, but that’s not your menu. The things on that menu are for that person and that person alone… especially made for that person. They may even have a couple of the same items you have on your menu, but not everything is the same. There are things on their menu that look ‘better” to you and you think you want more than what’s on your menu. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem fair.
Pretty soon, you forget about how happy you were with your menu. Pretty soon you aren’t happy. So you start insisting on ordering the things on the other person’s menu. When God doesn’t give them to you, you yell, scream, cry... whatever you think will make Him cave in to your demands. Or He might allow you to try those things you think you so desperately need just so you can see for yourself that they aren’t so tasty on your tongue and don’t do the best things for your body. He allows you learn the hard way.
Pretty soon you are wishing you would have stuck to your own menu.
God’s plan is like the menu. He’s already tailor-made it for you. It IS perfect. It IS exactly what is right for you and you alone.
When we deviate from that plan or look at other people’s lives with envy, it’s like we are trying to taste from our neighbor’s menu the things that are not on our menu. It’s not for you and you are going to find out the hard way that it’s not as tasty as you had hoped. You should have stuck with your menu because it was not going to dissappoint.
Thank God that He always lets us come back to our menu and try again. Even better He provides us with a glass of living water to cleanse our palette from the bad taste of the things we should have stayed away from to begin with.
God really is so good to us.
Lord, forgive me for not always trusting in your plan for me. You know what’s best for my life. Strengthen my faith in you, Lord, and keep me always focused on your perfect will for my life. Thank you for always bringing me back to Your table.
What does that mean? People tell you that God has a plan for your life. I’ve told people the same. The Bible talks about God’s plan and purpose. It’s a real thing. It exists, but I don’t think we really think about how important it is and how imperative it is that we stay inside of that plan.
Last night the Lord showed me a picture of what His plan looks like.
I envisioned a table full of guests. Each one of us is a guest at God’s table. We all are invited to eat and partake, BUT only from the menu that he has pre-selected for us. (Literally picture a menu laid out in front of you with your name at the top: “Kristina’s Menu. By God.”)
Your menu has food that God knows will taste the best on your tongue, smell the best to your nose, look the best to your eyes, and most importantly nourish your body in the best way for it. Nothing on that menu is bad for you. It’s all stuff that He knows you will enjoy… better than you even know for yourself.
That menu is tailor-made for you by the most perfect and high being in existence. You look happily at your menu, excited to taste and see what’s in store. Why would you want anything other than that menu?
Yet, you can’t help it. You put your menu down and start trying to get a peek at the menu belonging to the person next to you.
“What a minute. Why does she get cheesecake?” Even though you know you are lactose intolerant! lol.
You start to want what’s on your neighbor’s menu, but that’s not your menu. The things on that menu are for that person and that person alone… especially made for that person. They may even have a couple of the same items you have on your menu, but not everything is the same. There are things on their menu that look ‘better” to you and you think you want more than what’s on your menu. Suddenly, it doesn’t seem fair.
Pretty soon, you forget about how happy you were with your menu. Pretty soon you aren’t happy. So you start insisting on ordering the things on the other person’s menu. When God doesn’t give them to you, you yell, scream, cry... whatever you think will make Him cave in to your demands. Or He might allow you to try those things you think you so desperately need just so you can see for yourself that they aren’t so tasty on your tongue and don’t do the best things for your body. He allows you learn the hard way.
Pretty soon you are wishing you would have stuck to your own menu.
God’s plan is like the menu. He’s already tailor-made it for you. It IS perfect. It IS exactly what is right for you and you alone.
When we deviate from that plan or look at other people’s lives with envy, it’s like we are trying to taste from our neighbor’s menu the things that are not on our menu. It’s not for you and you are going to find out the hard way that it’s not as tasty as you had hoped. You should have stuck with your menu because it was not going to dissappoint.
Thank God that He always lets us come back to our menu and try again. Even better He provides us with a glass of living water to cleanse our palette from the bad taste of the things we should have stayed away from to begin with.
God really is so good to us.
Lord, forgive me for not always trusting in your plan for me. You know what’s best for my life. Strengthen my faith in you, Lord, and keep me always focused on your perfect will for my life. Thank you for always bringing me back to Your table.
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Self-defeat...
I've always thought I was ready for the responsibility of relationship, marriage, children, etc. THOUGHT.
What you think and what is aren't always the same. What you think about yourself in your conscious mind and what you think about yourself in your subconscious can also be two different things.
Now that I re-examine my life, I can see that while I though I was ready, I was not. While I tried to convince myself that I "deserved" these things, inside I really felt unworthy and scared of these things. For the first time in my life I feel like I am almost ready.
Yes, I said ALMOST.
God has put someone special into my life and every ounce of my conscious self feels completely ready for what could come, but I think the subconscious is still not there.
How do I know? Because I find myself drifting into insecurity (with not good reason) and self-sabatoge, without wanting to. I really don't want this to not work. I really don't want to be the one to ruin it, but it's almost like I can't help myself. I hate this about myself right now.
I posted this to my Facebook wall yesterday, which pretty much sums up everything:
"I'm sick and tired of my own foolishness. We don't deserve anything God gives us and maybe somewhere deep down we want to ruin our own chances because we feel unworthy. May it stop today!"
Lord, please make it stop. It is true that I am not unworthy, but that does not take away from the fact that you are my Father and You want to bless me and see me succeed. Help me to have the courage to get out my own way, but more importantly out of Your way and let You do what You do best. I love You. Thank you for loving me more...
What you think and what is aren't always the same. What you think about yourself in your conscious mind and what you think about yourself in your subconscious can also be two different things.
Now that I re-examine my life, I can see that while I though I was ready, I was not. While I tried to convince myself that I "deserved" these things, inside I really felt unworthy and scared of these things. For the first time in my life I feel like I am almost ready.
Yes, I said ALMOST.
God has put someone special into my life and every ounce of my conscious self feels completely ready for what could come, but I think the subconscious is still not there.
How do I know? Because I find myself drifting into insecurity (with not good reason) and self-sabatoge, without wanting to. I really don't want this to not work. I really don't want to be the one to ruin it, but it's almost like I can't help myself. I hate this about myself right now.
I posted this to my Facebook wall yesterday, which pretty much sums up everything:
"I'm sick and tired of my own foolishness. We don't deserve anything God gives us and maybe somewhere deep down we want to ruin our own chances because we feel unworthy. May it stop today!"
Lord, please make it stop. It is true that I am not unworthy, but that does not take away from the fact that you are my Father and You want to bless me and see me succeed. Help me to have the courage to get out my own way, but more importantly out of Your way and let You do what You do best. I love You. Thank you for loving me more...
Thursday, November 3, 2011
Love stories...
Moving on from the drama...
I just read Bryan Allain's guest post titled, "7 Tips for Finding Your Soul Mate Like I Did."
It's cute and re-assuring. God can make anything happen and will use any kind of situation to make it happen, we just gotta let Him.
=)
I just read Bryan Allain's guest post titled, "7 Tips for Finding Your Soul Mate Like I Did."
It's cute and re-assuring. God can make anything happen and will use any kind of situation to make it happen, we just gotta let Him.
=)
The familiar shock.. of confusion and chaos...
Ok. Now just when you think it's over, it's not.
Yesterday, I wrote a sincere blog post about moving on and letting go. I hit "Publish Post" and was at peace, knowing that I meant every word (and still do). Then I hear from him... and guess what? Aparently, nothing was wrong.
What the heck?
But I'm still left with confusing feelings. Technically, nothing was wrong, yet now I feel like I can't trust him fully with my heart just yet. Like I want to pull away now and let him come to me. Like I know now that I cannot accept NOT being pursued and won. Like I need to see this man step up to the plate or I'm out. Like I'm pretty much sure that I'll be dating other people until (if ever) he steps up.
Why? Why does that always happen? The minute you let go, it's like they just know...
Lord, Your will be done in this and always. Whatever happens, don't let me take my focus off of You. I don't want to have to be sifted like this again. I want the lesson to be learned...
Yesterday, I wrote a sincere blog post about moving on and letting go. I hit "Publish Post" and was at peace, knowing that I meant every word (and still do). Then I hear from him... and guess what? Aparently, nothing was wrong.
What the heck?
But I'm still left with confusing feelings. Technically, nothing was wrong, yet now I feel like I can't trust him fully with my heart just yet. Like I want to pull away now and let him come to me. Like I know now that I cannot accept NOT being pursued and won. Like I need to see this man step up to the plate or I'm out. Like I'm pretty much sure that I'll be dating other people until (if ever) he steps up.
Why? Why does that always happen? The minute you let go, it's like they just know...
Lord, Your will be done in this and always. Whatever happens, don't let me take my focus off of You. I don't want to have to be sifted like this again. I want the lesson to be learned...
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
Outlook changed...
Today I woke up and something had changed. I'm moving on from the situation that has been hurting me and worrying me for the last nearly 2 weeks. I'm letting it go. I'm letting him go. Moving on.
I don't know what happened or why and I'm getting the idea that I'm not going to know. I'm not in control.
Oh well.
Get over it...
I'm over it.
Moving on.
God loves me and knows the bigger picture. Never in my life--not once--has He removed someone who didn't need to be removed.... Even if that person seemed like a good person. Even if that person had never done anything harmful to me (until now). Even if that person seemed like they were in my life by some divine plan.
Again, He knows everything I don't know and He has the perfect reasoning: MY GOOD.
He is looking out for me. Greater things have yet to come. I know it. I believe it. It's what's helping me to let go and move on.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for loving me so much! Thank you for blessing me beyond what I can imagine for myself always. Thank you for the good things you have in store for those who wait on you... even if not always patiently. =)
This is not the end of my story; God wants to write a new chapter. Amen!
I don't know what happened or why and I'm getting the idea that I'm not going to know. I'm not in control.
Oh well.
Get over it...
I'm over it.
Moving on.
God loves me and knows the bigger picture. Never in my life--not once--has He removed someone who didn't need to be removed.... Even if that person seemed like a good person. Even if that person had never done anything harmful to me (until now). Even if that person seemed like they were in my life by some divine plan.
Again, He knows everything I don't know and He has the perfect reasoning: MY GOOD.
He is looking out for me. Greater things have yet to come. I know it. I believe it. It's what's helping me to let go and move on.
Thank you, Lord. Thank you for loving me so much! Thank you for blessing me beyond what I can imagine for myself always. Thank you for the good things you have in store for those who wait on you... even if not always patiently. =)
This is not the end of my story; God wants to write a new chapter. Amen!
Monday, October 31, 2011
From the top of the mountain to the bottom of the valley...
We are to rejoice in the Lord when times are good (top of the mountain) AND when times are bad (bottom of the valley). Right now I'm in the low, deep pit of the valley, but I'm going to rejoice in the Lord anyway.
Right now I am going through a painful and confusing time in my life that has come seemingly out of no where. I was on the top of the mountain, singing "the hills are alive..." (lol). Then it was like I suddenly lost my footing and slid rapidly down into the scary unknown below.
Why does God allow that to happen? There are so many reasons. For me, I believe one reason is that the Lord wants... no requires... that I turn my focus on Him, and although He is not a cruel God, He will use any means to make that happen, even allowing "bad" things to "happen."
His ultimate aim is to bring us back to a place where we rely fully on Him... not ourselves, not anyone else.
Lord, thanks for taking desperate measures to get me back into a right standing with You... even if it hurt. I know You love me. I rejoice in that and I look forward to returning to the top of the mountain soon.
Amen!
Right now I am going through a painful and confusing time in my life that has come seemingly out of no where. I was on the top of the mountain, singing "the hills are alive..." (lol). Then it was like I suddenly lost my footing and slid rapidly down into the scary unknown below.
Why does God allow that to happen? There are so many reasons. For me, I believe one reason is that the Lord wants... no requires... that I turn my focus on Him, and although He is not a cruel God, He will use any means to make that happen, even allowing "bad" things to "happen."
His ultimate aim is to bring us back to a place where we rely fully on Him... not ourselves, not anyone else.
Lord, thanks for taking desperate measures to get me back into a right standing with You... even if it hurt. I know You love me. I rejoice in that and I look forward to returning to the top of the mountain soon.
Amen!
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Important reminder to self...
God is so good at giving us the right message at the right time. Amen!
This devotional from a couple of days ago was one of many messages from the Lord I needed to hear and I want to post it hear as a reminder to myself:
Satan’s plan was to infect Adam with the virus of sin before his first son was born; that way he could get all the rest of us. And it almost worked. Cain, Adam’s first son, murdered his brother Abel. But God wasn’t finished. “Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and named him Seth, ‘For God has appointed another seed for me instead of Abel.’” For everything you’ve loved or lost, God has something else. For everything that’s been stolen from you, God has something else. Your “seed” is your future, and God has another one in mind for you. The situation you are in right now is not the end of the story; God wants to write a new chapter. The Devil knew God had a plan for you; that’s why he tried so hard to wipe you out. He doesn’t want you to live long enough to fulfill it. But the fact that you’re still here and able to read this says he failed, and that God’s not through with you! Notice the word “appointed.” There’s an appointment on God’s calendar with your name on it. “God has appointed another [future] for me.” There’s something good just over the horizon—something for your life, your marriage, your family, your career, your ministry. God has an appointed task for you to accomplish, and appointed blessings for you to enjoy. He has called you with an “eternal purpose” and He will bring it to pass.
This devotional from a couple of days ago was one of many messages from the Lord I needed to hear and I want to post it hear as a reminder to myself:
God Is Giving You Another Chance
“God has appointed another [future] for me.” Ge 4:25 NKJVSatan’s plan was to infect Adam with the virus of sin before his first son was born; that way he could get all the rest of us. And it almost worked. Cain, Adam’s first son, murdered his brother Abel. But God wasn’t finished. “Adam knew his wife again, and she bore a son and named him Seth, ‘For God has appointed another seed for me instead of Abel.’” For everything you’ve loved or lost, God has something else. For everything that’s been stolen from you, God has something else. Your “seed” is your future, and God has another one in mind for you. The situation you are in right now is not the end of the story; God wants to write a new chapter. The Devil knew God had a plan for you; that’s why he tried so hard to wipe you out. He doesn’t want you to live long enough to fulfill it. But the fact that you’re still here and able to read this says he failed, and that God’s not through with you! Notice the word “appointed.” There’s an appointment on God’s calendar with your name on it. “God has appointed another [future] for me.” There’s something good just over the horizon—something for your life, your marriage, your family, your career, your ministry. God has an appointed task for you to accomplish, and appointed blessings for you to enjoy. He has called you with an “eternal purpose” and He will bring it to pass.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Just when you think...
Just when you think things are going well, then they appear to be not. *sigh*
I don't understand, but maybe I'm not supposed to. I've learned that the Lord will sometimes let me go through a moment of uncertainty, confusion, and even a litte bit of despair so that I can re-focus my attention on Him... where it belongs.
I'm trying my best to hope that this is one of those times and not anything I really need to worry about.
Everytime it feels things are unraveling in my life, I keep coming back to the same verse from Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."
That last part is a promise from the Word. I need to acknowledge Him and His importance in my life (above ALL other things and people) and He will take care of the rest.
For now, I am grateful for godly women from whom I can seek godly counsel and even the kick in the pants I need. Right now I'm hearing the Lord say, "Be still and know that I am God."
Okay Lord. Settle my heart. I'm ready to be still.
I don't understand, but maybe I'm not supposed to. I've learned that the Lord will sometimes let me go through a moment of uncertainty, confusion, and even a litte bit of despair so that I can re-focus my attention on Him... where it belongs.
I'm trying my best to hope that this is one of those times and not anything I really need to worry about.
Everytime it feels things are unraveling in my life, I keep coming back to the same verse from Proverbs: "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will make your paths straight."
That last part is a promise from the Word. I need to acknowledge Him and His importance in my life (above ALL other things and people) and He will take care of the rest.
For now, I am grateful for godly women from whom I can seek godly counsel and even the kick in the pants I need. Right now I'm hearing the Lord say, "Be still and know that I am God."
Okay Lord. Settle my heart. I'm ready to be still.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Now I'm found...
Darn you, Jon Acuff. It's like you know everything about me. lol. His latest SCL post hit home for me. Especially this part:
I don’t care if you’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon, Atheist or Agnostic. I think deep down inside, we all want to be found. We all want someone to come looking for us. We want people to be glad when they are with us. As Radiohead once said, “I want you to notice when I’m not around.”
That’s how I was in college. I was really insecure and was dating a girl that didn’t seem that concerned if I was around. So when we went to parties, I would get a little drunk and then hide. By “hide,” I really wish I meant “go outside and sit on a curb forlornly like a singer/songwriter waiting for inspiration.”
Alas, that is not what I meant. I used to go hide in closets. I would stand there in the dark of the closet, awkwardly shoved amidst coasts and shoes waiting for her to look for me. Wanting, more than anything those stupid nights, for her to notice I was missing. For her to come find me. For me to be found.
That was so me and admittedly, on a bad day, it might still be me some times. The first memory I have of feeling this way and being sorely disappointed was when I was around six years old. For some reason I became upset with my mom and I told her I was going to run away. I took off down the street and ended up down at the pool (we lived in a gated community) on a bench. I sat there and watched the street hoping to see my mom come frantically running down it, worried to death about me.
She never came.
I think that hurt more than anything. My own mom didn't want to find me. (She later told me that she saw where I ran off to and wasn't worried. Thanks, Mom. lol)
When I got older I would pull the same sort of dramatics, but I would take off in my car knowing full well that I had a cell phone so she could call me and "find" me. There were times she would come out and try to talk to me or stop me or whatever, but in my mind I think I was still holding on to how she never came looking for me that one time. So to me it was "too little, too late, lady!"
(Man, I'm glad the Lord has changed me because looking back at how I used to behave makes me want to jump into a time machine to go back and beat young, ridiculous self up. lol)
Anyway, reading this post makes me feel a little better about my past feelings... however ridiculous they were. I guess I wasn't the only one who was looking to be found. Everyone wants to be found, to be important, relevant, missed.
The great thing, though, is I can now look back and know that I was never alone. God was with me through the whole thing. He was waiting for me to get found.... by Him.
Thank you, Lord. There is no one like You.
I don’t care if you’re Christian, Muslim, Jewish, Mormon, Atheist or Agnostic. I think deep down inside, we all want to be found. We all want someone to come looking for us. We want people to be glad when they are with us. As Radiohead once said, “I want you to notice when I’m not around.”
That’s how I was in college. I was really insecure and was dating a girl that didn’t seem that concerned if I was around. So when we went to parties, I would get a little drunk and then hide. By “hide,” I really wish I meant “go outside and sit on a curb forlornly like a singer/songwriter waiting for inspiration.”
Alas, that is not what I meant. I used to go hide in closets. I would stand there in the dark of the closet, awkwardly shoved amidst coasts and shoes waiting for her to look for me. Wanting, more than anything those stupid nights, for her to notice I was missing. For her to come find me. For me to be found.
That was so me and admittedly, on a bad day, it might still be me some times. The first memory I have of feeling this way and being sorely disappointed was when I was around six years old. For some reason I became upset with my mom and I told her I was going to run away. I took off down the street and ended up down at the pool (we lived in a gated community) on a bench. I sat there and watched the street hoping to see my mom come frantically running down it, worried to death about me.
She never came.
I think that hurt more than anything. My own mom didn't want to find me. (She later told me that she saw where I ran off to and wasn't worried. Thanks, Mom. lol)
When I got older I would pull the same sort of dramatics, but I would take off in my car knowing full well that I had a cell phone so she could call me and "find" me. There were times she would come out and try to talk to me or stop me or whatever, but in my mind I think I was still holding on to how she never came looking for me that one time. So to me it was "too little, too late, lady!"
(Man, I'm glad the Lord has changed me because looking back at how I used to behave makes me want to jump into a time machine to go back and beat young, ridiculous self up. lol)
Anyway, reading this post makes me feel a little better about my past feelings... however ridiculous they were. I guess I wasn't the only one who was looking to be found. Everyone wants to be found, to be important, relevant, missed.
The great thing, though, is I can now look back and know that I was never alone. God was with me through the whole thing. He was waiting for me to get found.... by Him.
Thank you, Lord. There is no one like You.
Monday, September 26, 2011
More than enough...
I have had that song "Enough" by Chris Tomlin stuck in my head today. I just now stopped and thought about what I've been murmuring/singing to myself all day:
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
Why is it so hard for me to actually live these words and mean them? I want to--I really do. I try and some days I'm actually successful in feeling totally at peace and satisfied and like God is sufficient. But a lot of days I do not feel this. I hate it. I wish I could just tell God, "I trust you wholly and completely from this day forward because you ARE enough to satisfy my EVERY need," and SHAZAAM, full trust in the Lord... no doubts, no fears, no anxiety. Complete peace.
But no. I keep hoping for that earthly relationship. Keep hoping for that "something" that will make me feel that much better about myself and life. But for what? It's only to satisfy what I think other people around me are expecting of me.
It's stupid. God is enough. If I die tomorrow I will have had a full, complete, and fulfilled life solely because I knew Jesus.
Accept it, self. Believe it. Be at peace.
All of You is more than enough for all of me
For every thirst and every need
You satisfy me with Your love
And all I have in You is more than enough
Why is it so hard for me to actually live these words and mean them? I want to--I really do. I try and some days I'm actually successful in feeling totally at peace and satisfied and like God is sufficient. But a lot of days I do not feel this. I hate it. I wish I could just tell God, "I trust you wholly and completely from this day forward because you ARE enough to satisfy my EVERY need," and SHAZAAM, full trust in the Lord... no doubts, no fears, no anxiety. Complete peace.
But no. I keep hoping for that earthly relationship. Keep hoping for that "something" that will make me feel that much better about myself and life. But for what? It's only to satisfy what I think other people around me are expecting of me.
It's stupid. God is enough. If I die tomorrow I will have had a full, complete, and fulfilled life solely because I knew Jesus.
Accept it, self. Believe it. Be at peace.
Monday, September 12, 2011
A good wife...
An excellant wife is the crown of her husband, but she who shames him is as rotteness in his bones. Proverbs 12:4
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
An excellant wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 10-12, 30
So apparently, a man is considered blessed when he finds a good wife. =) I want my husband to be blessed and therefore I want to be a good wife.
In this world where everyone's favorite tune is "me me meeeeee," we've lost sight of what makes relationships work: putting the other person's needs before our own. Part of doing that is finding out what we can do to be a better partner to our spouses. The answers are in the Word.
Looking at the above verses specificially, I hope and pray that I can someday (hopefully soon), be the kind of "excellant" wife described above. Based off of the above I gather that an excellant wife:
I don't think those things are too much to ask of a wife--not at all--because you know, I would hope he would do the same also.
Lord in Heaven, while I wait patiently for my husband, please help me to be more like the "excellant" wife of your Word. I definitely want to be a blessing to my husband and not a curse. Thank you, Lord, for always preparing me for the blessings I know you have in store for me. Amen.
He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord. Proverbs 18:22
An excellant wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. The heart of her husband trust in her, and he will have no lack of gain. She does him good and not evil all the days of her life. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised. Proverbs 31: 10-12, 30
So apparently, a man is considered blessed when he finds a good wife. =) I want my husband to be blessed and therefore I want to be a good wife.
In this world where everyone's favorite tune is "me me meeeeee," we've lost sight of what makes relationships work: putting the other person's needs before our own. Part of doing that is finding out what we can do to be a better partner to our spouses. The answers are in the Word.
Looking at the above verses specificially, I hope and pray that I can someday (hopefully soon), be the kind of "excellant" wife described above. Based off of the above I gather that an excellant wife:
- Brings no shame to her husband. She's moral and upstanding, with a good reputation
- Is trustworthy and discreet.
- Thinks about her husband's best interest first. She respects and honors him.
- Fears and loves the Lord.
I don't think those things are too much to ask of a wife--not at all--because you know, I would hope he would do the same also.
Lord in Heaven, while I wait patiently for my husband, please help me to be more like the "excellant" wife of your Word. I definitely want to be a blessing to my husband and not a curse. Thank you, Lord, for always preparing me for the blessings I know you have in store for me. Amen.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
No quiero...
I don't want to...
... stay in this house much longer. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but.... I'm tired of doing 100 dishes daily that I didn't even dirty. I'm tired of no air conditioning or heat. I'm tired of someone using my makeup, shampoo, body spray, lotions, feminine products, etc. What is no bueno is that I don't know how much longer the house-hunting thing is going to take. Maybe until I do find something decent, I should start looking at apartments again. I just need my own space. *sigh*
... worry any more. I know I worry too much and it's SINFUL. Literally. It shows a lack of full faith in the Lord. I wish I didn't worry so much. I wish "casting all my cares" on the Lord was as easy as taking the garbage out, dumping it, and walking away. It's not.
... be alone anymore. Not even just romantically, but physically. I'm ready for a partner with whom I can spend my free time and enjoy life. The fact is, the older you get, the less people you find who are alone. Everyone is paired up and they don't have time for those who aren't. Me, myself, and I isn't cutting it anymore.
... wait, but I have to. If I push things or try to make things happen myself, they will just get fouled up. It happens EVERY time. I have to leave things in God's hands and trust that he's working it out and knows things I don't know. He can see the whole picture.
... feel sorry for myself, despite all of the above. This life is not a waste, but it can feel like I'm wasting it sometimes.
I gotta get myself out there. Lord, put opportunities to serve you in front of me. Help me to be grateful for the blessings I have. Send me where you need me. Do with me what you will...
UPDATE:
How convenient that this is today's scripture:
Psalm 143:10 - “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
... stay in this house much longer. I hate to sound like I'm complaining, but.... I'm tired of doing 100 dishes daily that I didn't even dirty. I'm tired of no air conditioning or heat. I'm tired of someone using my makeup, shampoo, body spray, lotions, feminine products, etc. What is no bueno is that I don't know how much longer the house-hunting thing is going to take. Maybe until I do find something decent, I should start looking at apartments again. I just need my own space. *sigh*
... worry any more. I know I worry too much and it's SINFUL. Literally. It shows a lack of full faith in the Lord. I wish I didn't worry so much. I wish "casting all my cares" on the Lord was as easy as taking the garbage out, dumping it, and walking away. It's not.
... be alone anymore. Not even just romantically, but physically. I'm ready for a partner with whom I can spend my free time and enjoy life. The fact is, the older you get, the less people you find who are alone. Everyone is paired up and they don't have time for those who aren't. Me, myself, and I isn't cutting it anymore.
... wait, but I have to. If I push things or try to make things happen myself, they will just get fouled up. It happens EVERY time. I have to leave things in God's hands and trust that he's working it out and knows things I don't know. He can see the whole picture.
... feel sorry for myself, despite all of the above. This life is not a waste, but it can feel like I'm wasting it sometimes.
I gotta get myself out there. Lord, put opportunities to serve you in front of me. Help me to be grateful for the blessings I have. Send me where you need me. Do with me what you will...
UPDATE:
How convenient that this is today's scripture:
Psalm 143:10 - “Teach me to do your will, for you are my God; may your good Spirit lead me on level ground.”
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Our evil. God's glory.
"You meant evil against me, but God meant it for good." Genesis 50:20
Sometimes horrible things happen that seem to be pointless, but God takes these things and uses them for his glory. In the 1950s, five missionaries went into the territory of one of the most deadly tribes of the Amazon, even though it was likely they would lose their lives, because they loved these people enough to share God's love with them. They did die at the hands of these murderous people, but what God did with their deaths was amazing and unbelievable... almost impossible.
Good thing with God, NOTHING is impossible...
Sometimes horrible things happen that seem to be pointless, but God takes these things and uses them for his glory. In the 1950s, five missionaries went into the territory of one of the most deadly tribes of the Amazon, even though it was likely they would lose their lives, because they loved these people enough to share God's love with them. They did die at the hands of these murderous people, but what God did with their deaths was amazing and unbelievable... almost impossible.
Good thing with God, NOTHING is impossible...
Warning: Prepare to bawls your eyes out on this one and the goodness of God. =)
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