The familiar shock.. of confusion and chaos...

Ok. Now just when you think it's over, it's not.

Yesterday, I wrote a sincere blog post about moving on and letting go.  I hit "Publish Post" and was at peace, knowing that I meant every word (and still do).  Then I hear from him... and guess what?  Aparently, nothing was wrong.

What the heck?

But I'm still left with confusing feelings.  Technically, nothing was wrong, yet now I feel like I can't trust him fully with my heart just yet.  Like I want to pull away now and let him come to me.  Like I know now that I cannot accept NOT being pursued and won.  Like I need to see this man step up to the plate or I'm out.  Like I'm pretty much sure that I'll be dating other people until (if ever) he steps up.

Why?  Why does that always happen?  The minute you let go, it's like they just know...

Lord, Your will be done in this and always.   Whatever happens, don't let me take my focus off of You.  I don't want to have to be sifted like this again.  I want the lesson to be learned...