Bringing you, my newfound reader(s), up to speed...

I haven't blogged in over a week. I was sick and out of the office all of last week. I was so weak that I couldn't stand for more than a few minutes without feeling like I wanted to faint, but I had no fever, cough, congestion, etc.... ??? We thought I might be anemic. Mom made me go to Urgent Care (practically against my will because I hate going to Kaiser and being treated like a hypochondriac). They took blood and urine test and everything came back negative (told you it was pointless to go to the doctor!). I was then diagnosed with a mild viral infection and put out for the remainder of the week to rest.

Now I'm back to work and I have to say, I just am not happy with my job (especially when I have to come back to a bunch of un-handled crap). I know I sound ungrateful, but I'm not going to pretend like it's the greatest thing that ever happened to me. On one hand, it is so awesome to be surrounded by two ladies who love the Lord. I can talk to them about God and my beliefs and I know they will understand what I'm talking about from a godly perspective. I know that this will open doors to advancement for me.

On the other hand, I feel so isolated and sometimes I want to second-guess myself and my abilities, OR I feel like I'm so not getting paid what I should be getting paid. I no longer get overtime hours. I miss my couple of friends and little bit of freedom I had in my old section. Of course, I don't miss the drama, but I do miss not feeling like I have to walk on eggshells all day. My boss was a jerk sometimes, but I knew her and knew how to deal with her. This new guy is just a jerk and I never know what I'm supposed to do to make sure I don't piss him off or do something wrong.

I asked for the Lord to get me out of my old situation or give me more work. He got me out, but to a place that I don't like any better and where I am going to have to be patient and wait for possibly years before something awesome comes along. I know that is ungrateful, but it doesn't change that I just don't like it. The bad economy, lack of jobs, and my debt are the only things keeping me here at this point. This sucks!

Lord, set me straight! I don't want to hate my job....

This week I am supposed to meet my new friend from the Internet (lol... that sounds funny). So far I am not nervous. I think both of us just want to meet the other already. There's only so much you can say over email and text message. Plus, I want to know exactly what this guy looks like in person, and I'm sure he feels the same way. It's just time.

There is something I'm unsure about: Is it messed up that I keep talking to this guy even though I very well know that if something materializes with my dad's co-worker, it will be siyonara? I know we are just friends and he knows that I won't date him if he's not walking with the Lord, but obviously the guy likes me and I feel like he's probably under the impression that he's the only guy I'm trying to talk to right now.

I don't know! I don't play games, but I also want to have options.... I guess I'm being dumb because the bottom line is that Internet guy is NOT an option anyway because he isn't walking with the Lord.

Ay! Why does everything have to be so difficult?

Okay. I don't want to think about this stuff anymore. Back to work. Next time, I'll be writing about my interesting trip to Phoenix/jail over the weekend... Stay tuned.