Antisocial?

On Thanksgiving my dad told me that I'm not so much shy as antisocial.

It's not true and I know my dad didn't mean to, but that really hurt my feelings. I truly am just painfully shy (especially with my peers), but when you are shy in this world you can't catch a break from those who are outgoing because they just don't understand the concept. They don't know what it's like. They weren't born that way. They are the kind of people who don't let insecurities about what other people think get to them. They are the type of people that everyone likes. They are the type of people that can be thrown into any situation and become friends with people in a matter of minutes.

I have never been that way, but believe me, if I could snap out of it I would. If I could just be myself I would. I don't choose to be this way, trust me. I've always been this way and matters were made worse in grade school. The other kids I went to school with completely ignored me. If I told a joke, no one laughed. If I gave my opinion, no one heard it. I was worth zero to these kids. So I learned to keep my mouth shut and keep to myself. Nothing I had to say was worth saying.

Yes, I've grown up and I now know that I am worth something, but it's still hard to feel like the minute I open up my mouth in a group of people I don't know I'm going to get that "who asked for your opinion" look. Or even the "who do you think you are" look. It sucks. It's terrifying. It's DEBILITATING!

So the next time you are in a group of people and one of them isn't saying much, or making a lot of eye contact, or is checking his/her cell phone every couple of seconds, don't assume that they are stuck-up, don't like you, or are rude. They may very well be extremely shy, afraid no one will like them, and waiting for you to start the conversation.

And please, whatever you do, don't call shy people ANTISOCIAL. It's an insult because I know that I am not "averse to the society of others." In fact, I long for the society of others, I just don't know how to attain it, which means I have a very lonely and isolated life sometimes....