I'm NOT going to Peru...

I'm not going to Peru after all.

Almost immediately after agreeing to go to Peru, something didn't feel right. I just wasn't truly excited about it inside. It felt like a mistake. I kept feeling like my spirit was telling me it was a bad idea... "something bad will happen."

Then I started thinking that maybe the Devil was messing with me. Maybe he didn't want me to go because I might reach someone for the Lord.

But no. Something still seemed off.

I finally prayed about it and asked God to let me know if He wanted me to go. Then a couple of days later I mentioned to my mom that I wasn't sure about going. That's when she told me she was sort of happy to hear that.

She had days earlier decided to get the roof fixed on her old house--the house I live in now. It was going to be a big burden on her to pay for that and cover my airfare (her idea, not mine). So she was thinking of asking me not to go after all.

Well there was my answer, loud and clear: DON'T GO.

So I'm being obedient. With winter (and rain) on the horizon, I definitely need a roof much more than I need a trip to Peru. So for now, I am not going to Peru.

I am going to Texas though. More on that later... =)

Justifiable upset-ness....

I've had a lot going on lately, but I either can't write about it (all I can say is that I, and then my family, was blindsided and attacked by an old "friend") or I just don't care to write about it.

Anyway, right now I'm PISSED.

My sister scared the living daylights out of us this morning.

If you don't come home from work and don't let anyone know where you are all night, people ARE going to worry. Plain and simple.

Thoughts of you laying dead somewhere or your car burned beyond recognition or some other horror of that nature ARE going to invade their thoughts. Think about that.

So when they do finally track you down, don't give them attitude for disturbing your sleep. Just apologize and say you'll never do it again. It's the least you can do.

By the way, my sister is an a**hole.

>=( <----- My current angry face

The 9/11 Letter

I referred to this way back in 2007. I found it for your enjoyment. If you don't agree.... well.... I DON'T CARE!

God Bless America!

9/11 Raw (Crystal Morning)

Annual 9/11 Rememberence

It doesn't get easier looking back at 9/11 and watching all the tributes and specials on TV every year, but it's necessary. I'll never stop pausing and remembering when that date roles around because I don't want to forget why we are so great and how there are radical people out there, Islamic or otherwise, that want to see us fail--that want to see this country destroyed.

I will never forget.

God bless this great country. God bless those who died that day. God bless those men and women that ran INTO the buildings at their own peril. God bless those people that gave their lives because they wouldn't allow a plane to make it to Washington DC. God bless the people who see fit to make it their mission that something like this never happens to us again.

God HELP our President to see that we are NOT the bad guys...

Is Hell freezing over?

Fidel Castro admits that Communism in his country doesn't work:

Jeffrey Goldberg, a national correspondent for The Atlantic magazine, asked Castro if Cuba's economic system was still worth exporting to other countries, and Castro replied: "The Cuban model doesn't even work for us anymore," Goldberg wrote Wednesday in a post on his Atlantic blog.

WOW!! I'm wondering if this is some kind of trick, but then again the end of the article says that he still embraces socialism and rejects capitalism.

Either way, this is pretty shocking. I bet Che's rolling over in his grave. At the very least he's grabbing a scarf because I know he ain't in Heaven....

I fear...

I just read this blog post on Boundless about fear and what it holds us back from. I scrolled down to read the comments and this one really hit home:

Naomi said the following at 8:47 AM on Aug 31:

I fear keeping my standards high and ending up alone.

I fear lowering my standards and ending up with a man who breaks my heart.

I fear missing the voice of God and His leading in the path of my life.

I fear being comfortable enough to stay here/doing this/the same thing forever.

I fear being "good" at many things and "great" at nothing.

I fear becoming the kind of person that everyone thinks is interesting & attractive, but no man wants enough to pursue.

I fear being okay with complacency and never aspiring to greater goals.

I fear having said the wrong thing at an opportune time and forever changed the course of my life.

I fear loving technology too much and neglecting the practice of true living.

I fear the paralyzing consequences of fear itself.

What could change if I did not fear? Only--and most importantly--my trust in God.

I literally teared up because I have the exact same fears and they are very present at the moment. I hate them. Particulary the first, second and sixth, and ESPECIALLY the 8th.

Lord, please take these fears far far away. I don't want to be trapped in their grip. Help me to continue to cast my cares upon you.


On a side note, I wanted to record the quote of the day from my friend Connie:

"Just remember that when things are from God, they will just fall into place peacefully and without strife.....there will be no doubt in your mind that it is the Lord that is working."

My grass is made of gold...

Wow. So I was going through a box (which was apparently something I should have saved for another day because now my back is throbbing, but I digress) and I found a message form from work. It was clearly from a couple of years ago when I was in my old section at work. On it I wrote the following:

I'm in another world of make-believe where good is still good and bad is still bad. I choose to stay here even though it isn't the most comfortable. It's no the easiest. The grass sometimes looks greener outside of here, but then I remember that my grass is made of gold. My water tastes sweet and what awaits me is better. So laugh at my world and tell me it's not real. Soon you will see, my world will win and yours fades away.

I really wish I could remember what was going on in my life to prompt me to write this. I'm sure I was feeling attacked for me beliefs, or maybe I was just feeling more and more frustrated with a broken and disgusting world that has lost all sense of right and wrong, good and evil.

I don't know. I don't even remember writing it, but I'm glad I found it.