Lightening things up...

A blonde walks into the library. She walks up to the counter, SLAMS a book down and screams at the librarian, - "This is the WORST book I've ever read!" "It has NO plot and far too many characters!"

The librarian looks up and calmly remarks - "So, you're the one who took our phone book..."

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FOOT IN MOUTH...UP TO THE KNEE! Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!" (Turns out, the witness was Blonde and didn't pick him!)

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In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed by stupidity, here are some actual label instructions found on consumer goods:

-On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
-On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
-On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
-On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just a suggestion.)
-On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
-On packaging for a Rowenta iron: Do not iron clothes on body.
-On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
-On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
-On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I gotta admit, I'm curious.)
-On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
-On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
-On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one.) (HAHAHA!)
-On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

Recovering...

I'm trying to recover from the shock of what my sister did to me. I'm still flabbergasted about it. I've been sick to my stomach since yesterday. I hate this kind of drama because I just can't get it off of my mind. I wish I was the kind of person to just turn off and not let stuff affect me, but I'm not. I cannot help but let something like this get to me. Especially when it's coming from family.

I've decided not to confront her about it until after the Baby Shower because I just don't want the tension, stress, or drama. I'm already stressed enough about the shower. Actually, I'm seriously re-thinking whether I should even bring it up because I know that I'm just going to end up the bad guy as always, and I'm so sick of that. It is clear that I am no way in the wrong here, but somehow it will get turned around on me. It always does. I'm just sick of fighting these battles that I will never win. I have already been stereo-typed as the overdramatic one with the victim syndrome. That is so not the case, but there is no convincing my family of that.

Grr! I am so tired of the constant strife! This is why I am trying to get away, but no matter how far away I get, the family drama still follows. What am I supposed to do? Cut them off completely? The sad part is that the idea of cutting them out completely doesn't even hurt my feelings anymore. If anything, it brings a sense of relief.

The other thing bothering me immensely is that my I'm-sure-soon-to-be-ex-friend has the capability of believing that I would say awful things about her behind her back. That just makes me feel like she has never trusted me. Why even be my friend if you don't trust me? I have trusted that she has had my back and wasn't saying anything bad about me behind my back this entire time. I guess that's my problem: I trust people until they give me a reason not to. The funny thing is, I didn't realize that was a problem. I thought that was what made me a good person...

Labels...

Okay, I have started labeling my blogs with categories. So, if you want to jump to blogs that go under a certain category you can. The list of Labels is right under my Archives...

The best betrayal...

...is from family.

I had the pleasure of finding out today that my own sister almost single-handedly managed to ruin one of my best friendships. She told my friend... er maybe ex-friend (still not sure at this point) that I was saying awful things about her that I never said. In fact, the lies are the exact and utter opposite of what I said about her. Well, now the damage has been done and whether my friend believes that I said those lies or not, things are never going to be the same between us.

My sister knows that this person was one of two people in my life who was a actual good friend to me and yet has allowed herself to be the catalyst for the destruction of that great relationship. Aren't your family members supposed to be happy for you when you have a good friend? I never dreamed, even in my wildest nightmares, that my sister would want me to lose good people from my life.

I don't know what to believe anymore. Anyone want to take a kick while I'm down right now... here's your chance...

Best diaper cake ever!

Okay, this is not even finished yet, but I'm sure you can see just how awesome it's going to be. Woohoo! I rock!

Go Baby!

Good times...

So I've hung out with Mandy and her family for the last two weekends in a row and it's been nice. I always have a good time with Mandy though. It's just how we roll. lol. She totally messed up her knee, so we were limited on what we could do this past weekend, but we still managed to get out. It was enjoyable.

I also had dinner with Katie and Sandy, which was cool. I got in and got out with no drama. I like it like that. I think that is the good thing about not staying at my mom's. Then my mom and I met up on Saturday morning and went on a mad shopping spree to get stuff for the Baby Shower. We did really good. We got a lot done. Then we had a nice lunch, I dropped her off, and went back to Mandy's. Again, very nice and drama free. That's what I'm talking about. I think this is how it's going to have to be from now on in order for us all to have a happy, healthy, and civilized relationship. I'm down with that.

Last night I got home and started on the diaper cake for Sandy and I have to say it is coming out pretty freakin' awesome. I just don't know why God made me so darn talented. I'll post pic of what it looks like for now (it's not finished) later. It is already so cute. I hope Sandy loves it. She better love it because it took me an hour just to roll up the almost 100 freakin diapers it took to make the thing! This is going to be one awesome baby shower...

Nooooooo!

Perez Hilton has been saying that my future husband and Prison Break star, Wentworth Miller, is gay. I didn't want to believe it, despite the fact that Perez is ALWAYS right, but it looks like it's true.

Oh the humanity!

(I'm seriously holding back the tears right now.... What a waste of man!)

Oh what!?!

I cannot believe they let Lindsay off so easy. Paris went to jail for one DUI and driving under a suspended license. This heifer got caugh for TWO DUIs and cocaine possession. That is way worse than Paris, and she is only getting one freakin' day. What the heck? I almost wish Lindsay would have gotten Paris' judge. They should give 'em all Paris' judge. That guy was my hero...