It's bad when guys spend time with you in a way that makes you think they're interested in more than a friendship. Bad because it misleads you and risks putting wear and tear on your heart. Bad because it's defrauding.
She then goes on to ask if girls do the same thing and if it's wrong. YES and YES! I've seen it and it is wrong for anyone to lead anyone else on. None of us has the right to waste anyone else's time like that and play with anyone's feelings. It's wrong to be selfish!!! When are we going to understand that in this "ME. ME. ME" era?
Anyway, I've read another article in the past by Candace, the author of this blog. It talked about being in the "buddy zone" where you are not quite sure if you are dating the person and how it's no good for you. The person is getting everything from you that you would get in a dating relationship (companionship, a shoulder to cry on, devotion, etc.), but without the commitment or intimacy. It leaves you confused and hurt. This totally happened to me. Not only did it hurt my feelings, but I wasted months (almost a year) of my life on this guy when I could have been out in the world being exposed to people who WERE interested in and deserving of me.
This is why I'm being so cautious about being anything beyond just friends with any guys in my life right now (see previous blog post). That situation happened to me soooo long ago, but I learned a big lesson from it. I am guarding my heart as closely as possible because I know that one day that man who is sure and true will come and I don't want to have all this emotional baggage to dump on him because I let other guys dupe me into thinking it was more than it was...
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
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