Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times. (Matthew 18:21 & 22)
Man, that is one tall order. It's already hard sometimes to forgive someone when they do something bad or hurtful to you the FIRST time, let alone if they do it again... and again, and again.
Personally, I admit that I am prideful (hey, I'm Mexican... lol) and it's very hard for me to forgive. As hard as it is for me though, I'm really trying to work on being more forgiving and less sensitive. I think this is something the Lord really wants for me. When you are quick to forgive there is less to worry and suffer about. You aren't allowing yourself to be repeatedly injured by what happened, which is what occurs every time you remember it or bring it up because you haven't forgiven.
Right now, I'm struggling with having a forgiving heart towards one of my sisters at church. We met at my first Women's Bible Study last year and I love this girl to death. She is funny, quick-witted, and outgoing. She's the kind of person everyone likes to have around.
So, what did she do? Well, she kind of flaked on my birthday, which also includes flaking on my baptism. She told me she would be there, but never showed for either the actual baptism or the dinner afterward. I ran into her son in the parking lot at church and asked him if they were coming to dinner. All he said was, "No," and then walked away. Rude.... but then again he is a 13-year-old boy. What do they know about manners?
Anyway, I then sent her a text telling her that her son had told me that they weren't coming. No reply. No, "I'm so sorry. I forgot and I volunteered to serve tonight" (which I'm pretty sure is probably what happened). Nothing. I understand if she forgot and was helping at church, but the least she could have done was acknowledge my text. I mean, I took a whole day off of work to go to Disneyland with her for her birthday. The least she could do was let me know she wasn't coming to my birthday dinner.
Well, I was upset and hurt, but I went ahead and forgave her. I didn't want to have a strained relationship with a sister from church.
Then a few weeks ago, I ran into a mutual friend who told me that my friend had hurt her knee very badly. I felt bad and decided to text her to see how she was doing. She answered my text letting me know that the doctor has her off her feet for three weeks. I told her I would pray for her, and her reply was something like, "Yeah, I need all I can get." That was it. She didn't even say Thanks or mention my birthday. Plus, it seemed like such a short answer... the kind you usually get when someone is upset with you.
Again, I was hurt. I haven't heard from her since. Now I'm wondering if I did something to make her upset and that's why she didn't go to my birthday and why I haven't heard from her. Or maybe she feels guilty about missing my birthday and sometimes, for some crazy reason I've never been able to explain, when people feel guilty about something, they decide to flip the guilt on you and become angry with you instead of feeling bad for what they did.... ????? Maybe she's not even angry with me and has just been wrapped up with the whole knee issue. I don't know anymore!
Meanwhile, I'm starting to feel upset with my friend and totally rejected for no good reason, and it's getting harder to be so forgiving. I feel like I've proved myself to her as a friend and all of a sudden she's letting me down big time. Well, okay.... it's not even like I really hold this grudge. I'm really more disappointed than anything because this is the kind of stuff I expect from non-Believers. Then again, we are all sinners--believers or not.
Although I'm not necessarily angry with her to the point where I don't want to be her friend anymore, the way I feel just makes me become prideful to where I feel like I don't want to communicate with her anymore unless she initiates it. Even though though on the surface it's not all that deep of an issue, I guess I still feel like I need to forgive her (apparently... since I'm writing this big old long blog about it... lol).
I'm going to choose right now to just forgive her, but not to press the issue with her. Hopefully, I will have her in my Bible Study again this year and hopefully we can work out what's going on right now.
I can't wait for Bible Study to start. I'm not good with unresolved issues....
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment