Rewind. Try again...

Last weekend I went to my mom's house in a great mood. Life couldn't be better. I even sat there and told my mom, with tears of joy, just how good life is.... how the Lord is so good that when you put your trust in Him, He gives you far beyond what you could ever have asked for (specifically refering to my promotion). I was just feeling that joy that comes from the Holy Spirit.

(By the way, ONLY the Holy Spirit can bring that kind of joy--not people or things of this world.)

Anyway, then I got to hang out with Sandy and Baby K, which is always good times for me. Baby K can make any day a great day. Especially right now as she's learning how to use the potty. Exciting! lol.

So, yeah. My weekend started out great. Of course, as always though, good things don't last forever, and by Saturday night I was ready to bounce and go back home ASAP. As usual, I left feeling like there is no point of coming down to visit my family because I leave feeling unwanted and unwelcome. It never fails.

When my sisters or mom come to visit me, I go out of my way to make sure they are comfortable and that there is something to do. I don't just sit around all day watching TV, unless that's what they want to do. I want them to enjoy themselves. That is not what I get when I go to my Mom's. They treat me like they see me everyday, instead of like they haven't seen me for weeks.

Now I know it's not their intention to necessarily hurt my feelings, but I still get them hurt anyway. It's like I told my mom: I have been on this continuous journey to improve myself and to try to be a more easygoing person that is more pleasant to be around, but I feel like they've done nothing on their part. They will never change. And I guess their uncanny ability to hurt my feelings won't change either, which is partly my fault, since I'm giving them that power, huh.

*sigh* Guess I just need to accept it.

Well, this weekend I'm going back down again, but this time I have a plan. I--me, myself, and I--am going to make sure I have stuff to do. Not going to rely on them to keep me occupied and feeling wanted. I'm going to spend time with people who show me that they are happy to see me.
First, Sandy and I are going to try to go to Disneyland on Friday, IF this rain and thunderstorms don't continue like they are forcasting that they will. Crossing my fingers! If we cancel due to rain, we are still going to the movies or something. It will be Sandy, Baby K, and Tia Kristina day, part II.

Then Saturday, I'll be hanging with Mandy and the family. I'm always welcomed there, especially with what is going on right now with Ruben (I'll elaborate more in another blog very soon). They need all the support they can get right now. Sunday, I'll either go to church with Katie and Tirsa or just go home and go to my church. Since I don't have Children's Ministry this weekend I can take my pick.

So hopefully this weekend will be a lot better than last weekend. In the meantime, I'm gonna start praying for the Lord to help me to be less sensitive, be more understanding, and not have such high expecatations of everyone... ESPECIALLY my family.